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  • Doggus47 Doggus47 Jul 20, 1999 12:51 PM Flag

    Off Topic- Jackie Mason on SBUX 1

    And there are no chairs in Starbucks. Instead,
    they have these high stools. You ever see these
    stools? You haven't been on a chair that high since you
    were two. Seventy-three year old Jews have to climb
    and climb to get to the top of the chair. And when
    they get to the top, they can't even drink the coffee
    because there's 12 people > around one little table,
    and everybody's
    saying, "Excuse me, excuse me,
    excuse me, excuse me....."
    Then they can't get off
    the chair. Old Jews are begging Gentiles,"Mister,
    could you get me off this?" Do you remember what a
    cafeteria was? In poor neighborhoods all over this country,
    people went to a cafeteria because there were
    waiters and no service. And so poor people could save
    money on a tip.
    Cafeterias didn't have regular
    tables or chairs either. They gave coffee to you in a
    cardboard cup. So because of that you paid less for the
    coffee. You got less, so you paid less. It's all the same
    as Starbucks - no chairs, no service, a cardboard
    cup for your coffee - except in Starbucks, the less
    you get, the more it costs. By the time they give you
    nothing, it's worth four times as much. Am I exaggerating?
    Did you ever try to buy a cookie in Starbucks? Buy a
    cookie in a regular coffee shop. You can tear down a
    building with that cookie. And the whole cookie is 60
    cents. At Starbucks, you're going to have to hire a
    detective to find that cookie, and it's $9.50. And you
    can't put butter on it because they want extra. Do you
    know that if you buy a bagel in Starbucks, you pay
    extra for cream cheese? Cream cheese, another 60 cents.
    A knife to put iton, 32 cents. If it reaches the
    bagel, 48 cents. That bagel costs you $312.
    And they
    don't give you the butter or the cream cheese. They
    don't give it to you. They tell you where it is. "Oh,
    you want butter? It's over there. Cream cheese? Over
    here. Sugar? Sugar is here." Now you become your own
    waiter. You walk around with a tray. "I'll take the
    cookie. Where's the butter? The butter's here. Where's
    the cream cheese? The cream cheese is
    there." You
    walked around for an hour and a half selecting items,
    and then the guy at the cash register has a
    in front of him that says "Tips." You're waiting on
    tables for an hour, and you owe him money. Then there's
    a sign that says please clean it up when you're
    finished. They don't give you a waiter or a busboy. You
    have to clean up the place. Old Jews are walking
    around cleaning up Starbucks.
    "Oh, he's got dirt too?
    Wait, I'll clean this up." They clean up the place for
    an hour and a half. If I said to you, "I have a
    great idea for a business. I'll open a whole new type
    of a coffee shop. A whole new type. Instead of 60
    cents for coffee I'll charge $2.50, $3.50, $4.50, and
    Not only that, I'll have no tables, no chairs, no
    waiter, no busboy, and you'll clean up for 20 minutes
    after you're finished." Would you say to me, "That's
    the greatest idea for a business I ever heard! We can
    open a chain of these all over the world!" No, you
    would put me right into a sanitarium. Starbucks can
    only get away with it because they have
    titles for everything, the Nazi bastards
    sons-of-bitches. And I say this with the highest respect, because
    I don't like to talk about people.

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    • Where can I get a more updated list of insider
      trades. Yahoo's list is from april. I want to make sure
      old Howard hasn't sold all his shares and fleeing to
      europe and leaving us latte lovers holding worthless
      stock. I don't see a turn around coming this summer.
      weather is too cold, coffee futures are too high,
      estimated cost for innner city location, underestimated and
      rents are too high in the inner cities because the
      landlords(howards friend) are making a killing off the renter. Not
      to mention the tea sales in China are slow and the
      Starbucks newest adventure into rice bars are not taking
      off like expected but watch for a prototype to open
      in Seattle's international district.( but that is
      considered an inner city location so they have entered into
      joint venture with Howard's brother, Saul. who has a
      better understanding of what it takes to operate a
      turnkey operation in inner city locations.

    • I wish more people had the good sense to enjoy themselves in the stock market. You brought tears to my eyes!

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