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Nokia Corporation Message Board

  • stagetec100 stagetec100 Feb 8, 2012 11:55 AM Flag

    Somali Pirates in Discussions to Acquire Nokia


    The Somali pirates, renegade Somalis known for hijacking ships for ransom in the Gulf of Aden, are negotiating a purchase of Nokia.The pirates would buy Nokia with new debt and their existing cash stockpiles, earned most recently from hijacking numerous ships, . Head pirate, Ubu Kalid Shandu, said: "We need Nokia so that we have a place to keep all of our ransom money. Thankfully, the dislocations in the capital markets has allowed us to purchase Nokia at an attractive valuation and to take advantage of TARP capital to grow the business even faster.

    The Somali pirates are offering up to $0.10 per share for Nokia, pirate spokesman Sugule Ali said earlier today.

    The negotiations have entered the final stage. Ali stated, “You may not like our price, but we are not in the business of paying for things. Be happy we are in the mood to offer the shareholders anything at all.”

    The pirates will finance part of the purchase by selling new Pirate Ransom Backed Securities. The PRBS’s are backed by future ransom payments from hijackings in the Gulf of Aden. Moody’s and S&P have already issued their top AAA investment grade ratings for the PRBS’s.The deal is also backed by,Goldman Sachs,The Mexican drug cartels ,Warren Buffett,and the Richard Nixon's re-election campaign

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