9) I am voting Republican because I am a firm believer in Drill Baby Drill. US oil dependency is the way it’s always been, why change now? Monopolistic, unregulated oil cartels that suck the life out of the American people – it’s the way things are meant to be, oil at home or oil from abroad. I also lobbied for tax breaks for the pencil manufacturing industry – before Gates and those PC computers ruined everything. The status quo is good enough for this patriot; science and research should stay out of the business world and be restricted to college labs where they belong.
10) And lastly, I am voting Republican because I believe that a policy embracing diversity and religious freedom is one of those half-cocked ideas that, although it may initially look impressive on paper - on documents such as the US Constitution and Bill of Rights, for example - it doesn’t really work to my liking when applied in my neighborhood. Gosh darn it; I believe that plain folks like John McCain, Sarah Palin, and George Dubya are the best this great country of ours has to offer. Today we need flag-wavin’, eye-winkin’ patriots who base economic strategies on continuing a national industry of war, as exemplified by Sarah Palin and John McCain. I once heard it said that Thomas Jefferson was a learned man of exceptional intellect, sophistication, and international savvy, but that was such a long time ago; today we need change.