[x] Are Jeff. [ ] Are not Jeff. [ ] Are a cluster of unrelated, two-dimensional, identical sounding Indians living in New Jersey.
You are Jeff because:
[x] You change topics when you get owned. [x] You post random quotes and silently imagine ramifications that nobody else sees. [x] You crapflood the board when you get owned. [x] You *snicker*. [x] You hate Novell. [x] You post during Utah waking hours. [x] You always misspell your name. [x] You refuse to look at or acknowledge court documents related to you. [x] During star-clicking rampages your posts are clicked up. [x] You don't post during your Wikipedia rampages. [x] You don't post when the nymcluster has internet issues. [x] You speak positively of Jeff Merkey.
Your laptop hard drive:
[ ] Smashed itself. [ ] Was destroyed when you threw the laptop at Novell's door. [ ] Was smashed by your kids. [x] You took a hammer to your laptop hard drive to hide evidence sought by a court of law. [ ] Accidentally dropped into a vat of melted Rhodium.
[ ] Is squeaky clean. [x] A judge certified your grasp on reality isn't very firm. [x] A judge certified you absconded with Novell's property. [x] You've signed an email to Microsoft as "your loyal servant."
In case you forgot or pretend to not know:
[x] Please read Library of Congress archived Groklaw for some background. [x] Please read hhhhhttp://scofacts.org/merkey.html for some background. [x] Please Google "Jeff Merkey" for some background.