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United Continental Holdings, Inc. Message Board

  • jeepcreep111 jeepcreep111 Nov 2, 2013 11:30 AM Flag

    UAL Initiates Sky Waitress Feed Program

    UAL executives have really outdone themselves this time.....Starting November 6, all UAL Sky Waitresses will be fed refried beans before every flight. The desired result will be for the portly 98% of sky UAL waitresses to become quite flatulent and there by assisting the airplane carry the extra feminine bulk much the same way blimps become airborne. Of course, the thought of 5 or 6 post menopausal sows polluting the atmosphere in the limited confines of an airplane for hours on end is truly frightening. Commenting on the new program one UAL Sky Waitress hiked up her massive leg , ripped a gargantuan blast and said " I pity the foo sitting behind me when I walk down the aisle and unleash one of them monsters head-high."

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