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  • louis_m21 louis_m21 Dec 29, 2007 1:31 PM Flag

    joke to brighten your day

    With all the new technology regarding fertility recently, a 70-year- old woman was able to give birth to a baby. � When she was discharged from the hospital and went home, her relatives came to visit. � � May we see the new baby?" one asked. � Not yet," said the mother.��"I'll make coffee and we can visit for awhile first." � Thirty minutes had passed, and another relative asked, "May we see the new baby now?" � "No, not yet," said the mother.��After another few minutes had elapsed, they asked again, "May we see the baby now?" � "No, not yet," replied the mother. � Growing very impatient, they asked, "Well, when can we see the baby?" � "WHEN HE CRIES!" she told them. � "WHEN HE CRIES?" they demanded.��"Why do we have to wait until he cries?" � "BECAUSE I FORGOT WHERE I PUT HIM.��OKAY?????"

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    • I have followed your "joke to brighten your day" posts for several years and just want to thank you for providing me with a 6 page list of the best "cut and clip" jokes I have e-mailed my friends. Also, your "elf yourself" this year was priceless.
      To the "rectal sphincters" who have lambasted your posts I say....put your thumbs up your anuses and blow it out your asses! Get a sense of humor you idiots!

    • America
      The next time you hear a politician use the word "billion" in a casual manner, think about whether you want the "politicians" spending YOUR tax money.

      A billion is a difficult number to comprehend, but one advertising agency did a good job of putting that figure into some perspective in one of its releases

      A. A billion seconds ago it was 1959.

      B. A billion minutes ago Jesus was alive.

      C. A billion hours ago our ancestors were living in the Stone Age.

      D. A billion days ago no-one walked on the earth on two feet.

      E. A billion dollars ago was only 8 hours and 20 minutes, at the rate our government is spending it.

      While this thought is still fresh in our brain, let's take a look at New Orleans .

      It's amazing what you can learn with some simple division.

      Louisiana Senator, Mary Landrieu (D), is presently asking the Congress for $250 BILLION to rebuild New Orleans.

      Interesting number, what does it mean?

      A. Well, if you are one of 484,674 residents of New Orleans (every man, woman, child), you each get $516,528.

      B. Or, if you have one of the 188,251 homes in New Orleans , your home gets $1,329,787.

      C. Or, if you are a family of four, your family gets $2,066,012.

      Washington , D.C. HELLO!!! ... Are all your calculators broken??

      We'll still be after the inheritance TAX!!
      Accounts Receivable Tax
      Building Permit Tax
      CDL License Tax
      Cigarette Tax
      Corporate Income Tax
      Dog License Tax
      Federal Income Tax
      Federal Unemployment Tax (FUTA)
      Fishing License Tax
      Food License Tax
      Fuel Perm it Tax
      Gasoline Tax
      Hunting License Tax
      Inheritance Tax
      Inventory Tax
      IRS Interest Charges (tax on top of tax)
      IRS Penalties (tax on top of tax)
      Liquor Tax
      Luxury Tax
      Marriage License Tax
      Medicare Tax
      Property Tax
      Real Estate Tax
      Service Charge Taxes,
      Social Security Tax
      Road Usage Tax (Truckers)
      Sales Taxes
      Recreational Vehicle Tax
      School Tax
      State Income Tax
      State Unemployment Tax (SUTA)
      Telephone Federal Excise Tax
      Telephone Federal Universal Service Fee Tax
      Telephone Federal, State and Local Surcharge Tax
      Telephone Minimum Usage S! urcharge Tax
      Telephone Recurring and Non-recurring Charges Tax
      Telephone State and Local Tax
      Telephone Usage Charge Tax
      Utility Tax
      Vehicle License Registration Tax
      Vehicle Sales Tax
      Watercraft Registration Tax
      Well Permit Tax,
      Workers Compensation Tax
      STILL THINK THIS IS FUNNY?
      Not one of these taxes existed 100 years ago.

      100 years ago, our nation was the most prosperous in the world.

      We had absolutely no national debt, had the largest middle class in the world, and Mom stayed home to raise the kids.

      What happened? Can you spell �politicians?'

      And Why Do I Still Have to "press 1" for English?

      I hope this goes around THE USA at least 100 times.

    • Louis, that "joke" is really fricking stupid.

      As a matter of fact, come to think of it, most of them you post are.

      Maybe you should sign up to help Leno during the writer's strike. His moron audience might appreciate your "humor."

 
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