Somali Pirates in Discussions to Acquire Zynga, Inc
The Somali pirates, renegade Somalis known for hijacking ships for ransom in the Gulf of Aden, are negotiating a purchase of Zynga, Inc .The pirates would buy Zynga, Inc with new debt and their existing cash stockpiles, earned most recently from hijacking numerous ships. Head pirate, Ubu Kalid Shandu, said: "We need Zynga, Inc and its gambling license so that we have a place to keep all of our ransom money. Thankfully, the dislocations in the capital markets has allowed us to purchase Zynga, Inc at an attractive valuation and to take advantage of TARP capital to grow the business even faster.
The Somali pirates are offering up to 10 cents per share for Zynga, Inc, pirate spokesman Sugule Ali said earlier today. The negotiations have entered the final stage, Ali said. ”You may not like our price, but we are not in the business of paying for things. Be happy we are in the mood to offer the shareholders anything,” said Ali. The pirates will finance part of the purchase by selling new Pirate Ransom Backed Securities. The PRBS’s are backed by the cash flows from future ransom payments from hijackings in the Gulf of Aden. Moody’s and S&P have already issued a AAA investment grade rating for the PRBS’s. The deal is backed by the Mexican drug cartels , sex slave industry,and Warren Buffett.Head pirate, Ubu Kalid Shandu said, "We don't call ourselves pirates. We are coastguards and this will just allow us to guard our coasts better."
I must give this a major thumbs up and a five star rating. It is very creative, and strangely, you are an adept writer of our great language. That is somewhat of a rarity on the board. Yes, the young generation is quite skillful at that cryptic language of Twitter, but direly lacking in basic writing mechanics. We need not ask most of the poster boys about critical thinking, especially as it pertains to this great scam stock. Alas, this is the sorry outcome of too many hours on Farmville.
I just need to know if Mr. Pinus is part of the package deal. I think he could grow to like the Somali women. They like rings everywhere. Mark could even try some on---well, you know where. Size and staying power are important, and I believe this is where the bull dog encounters trouble. I truly believe 10 cents per share should not be overlooked by the management on Townsend Street. Think of the possibilities. ZNGA's next major hit could very well be, "Pirates of the East Indian Sea." In one version a magnificent yacht, with Warren Buffett at the helm, is commandeered by the the lawless barbarians. The Mosad is called in to rescue Warren and his fellow tycoons, but they can't come up with sufficient cash up front, and neither the Somali pirates nor the Mosad accept American Express. They must barter with their bodies. Eventually, a firefight breaks out, and Warren poops in his diapers.
This would be a huge hit, and ZNGA might rally much higher than 10 cents.