How do you blindfold a #$%$?
With dental floss.
How do you starve an Obama supporter?
Hide their EBT card under a bar of soap.
Why did Helen Keller wear tight jeans?
so that you could read her lips
What was Helen Keller's dog name?
ar, ar ar ar!
Where do you find a dog with no legs?
Right where you left him
What's the difference between Michael Phelps and Hitler?
Michael Phelps can finish a race.