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  • ggggggg_gargle ggggggg_gargle Jan 10, 2013 1:41 AM Flag

    I'm looking to open an animal euthanasia clinic

     

    I'm getting tired of animals hogging the earth and oceans. I'd like to see them all gone so I'd then have more space to develope into malls and townhomes. I've asked all my fellow Republican friends to help me approach our senator and state rep so we can also find the lobbyists we'll need when the time comes. I've already run down as many cats and dogs in the gated community where my estate is located. Next week I'll be meeting with several engineers to discuss how best to design the clinic and disposal site. Oh krap, here comes another call from my architech. I may have to cut this short. His firm, in Manhattan, has agreed to work in contract with me on removing several thousand square miles of forests on land I own but we first need my attorney to evict a bunch of ranchers. My attorney found there was an old law from the 1800's that states the land was once a watershed for a nearby protected river. My father, a well respected Republican, knows how I can bypass this law and still get the area dozed and cleared. He been a great asset at pulling strings for me and working backroom deals while keeping a low profile so as not to stir up any public attention. I tell ya, we Republicans sure know how to get things done. Were it not for my father this area would likely just be another wilderness area where only animals benefitted. I'm also considering trucking all the deforestation debris over to the river to use for filling in the river and that way I can build on that much more land. Got to go...Praise Bush and Rove!

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