Re: I got this link from my husband..why by: dr_enos_cook_phd (36/M/Boston, MA) 02/22/01 09:36 pm EST Msg: 15146 of 15146
Bank stocks. I pretended to understand them. I would wax philosophical about financial services as she listened, as if I were a virtuoso playing a Mozart sonata on an ancient violen. I thought my intelligence impressed her. My command of language. My limpid gestures. My knowing laughter, a roll of the eyes, to express absurdity, or aloofness. I pretended to be of the upper class. But you see, I am a truck driver. My name is Rick Tarkenton; I drive trucks for a living; I still have a CB radio, and I go to diners and order ham and eggs and I laugh with the waitresses. In some places, the cooks know me; we high-five each other, and if the boss is out, we smoke a jay out back. So I read up on the bank stocks. Wakem's posts? Invaluable. I recited some word for word. The woman took me to be the second coming of Louis Ruckeyser. But then my g-d-mn (Ameritrade) broker sent the statement to the house, a day after we had arrived back from our honeymoon (which I surreptiously charged to her credit card). The statement said: Money Market $682.12. No bank stocks, no stocks whatsoever. The she spotted my bills, grown mountainous by the penalty of compund interest. Mastercard: $4,801; Visa (1): $11,020; Visa (2): $9,101. I need not go on. She confronted me; I had been drinking, and a huge fight erupted (face slapping was a theme), with her calling 911. She dropped the charges and agreed to stay, saying she was too humiliated to tell her friends (her ne'er-do-well wanna be's, with their purple nail jobs and fake jewelry). I felt sadistic. I told her the secret: That a year ago, unbeknownst to me, I ate human flesh. That sent her over the top. For two weeks she lived in a Days Inn, but agreed to move back to "give me a try." I was startled, but I have learned, earlier this evening, that she was diagnosed with "advanced" multiple sclerosis, and will be a vegetable within a few years. So I forgive her for her boyfriend, a last fling, and what did she really owe me. I doubt he will stick around, anyway. Of course, I (seemingly) have a new responsibility on my hands, but I hear the road calling. I-495! Yes! I do like the message boards. There is so much information here. I can seem smart. And with that, powerful. Cook has to go now. To become a memory, one way or the other, for so many people. Don't judge me too harshly. If I had had money, I would have been nice.