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Jones Soda Co. (JSDA) Message Board

  • metrodavef metrodavef May 17, 2013 1:28 PM Flag


    AP 1:07pm EST. JSDA today sold two bottles of apple soda today to a gas station off route 9 just south of Seattle. The sale marks the turning point in the company's return to past glory. JSDA's CFO stated "five million more sales like this and we just might achieve break-even profitability in our life time"! In other important news, the company has hired Paultheoctopus and baldcontrarian as local salesmen. Both men bring a strong resume of knowing nothing and may know some people that could be thirsty. "We pride ourselves on finding talent where there isn't any" said the director of regional sales who went on to say "if these guys can't find a person that may want to buy a bottle or two of our product then nobody can". In other important news, the company stated they further cut costs by going paperless. "We have always wanted to join the green movement which is why our apple soda has a green color but now we can save trees too by having our employees usher in a new era of writing notes on their hands instead of paper" said Jean the office manager. This stunning cost saving measure should save the company an estimated $1,975.00 per annum as they continue to drive towards break-even performance. Jean the office manager went on to say "we don't sell much so we don't use a lot of paper to start with but every little bit helps". "Its like selling 900 bottles of our soda" said the regional director of sales. "Now we just need to come up with a pork-chop flavored drink formulation and that should get things really going in he Midwest" said the CFO.

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