Wow what an honor. I didn't think you could even type with those fat fingers girl.
First I want to extend my sympathies on the loss of your beloved Jack Hoff. I know you must feel so guilty squashing him to death. I guess your twelve weight loss surgeries didn't do much, huh? It must have gone quickly and quietly but what a horrible thud there must have been with your 812 pounds crushing him like a litle peanut.
Jack Hoff would have been so happy on a day like today. To be able to see his beloved BGS up over 23% on a single day would have brought a big smile to his face much like when you go the buffet how it brings a smile to your face.
Please keep in contact with us Shawna. I know it 's hard to move around when each leg of yours weighs over 200 pounds each but it was great hearing from you
I have a thought...I think you people should be ashamed of yourselves. Jack Hoff has passed and Shawna is left without a boyfriend. How do you people expect her to get to her favorite buffet FEED ME MORE? She's too big to fit into a car, actually she's too big to fit into the back of a truck bed.
Please say a prayer for Shawna before you go to bed tonight.
In lieu of flowers please send FEED ME MORE buffet gift cards to Shawna who is feeling terrible for this horrible accident that has taken Jack Hoff from us.
Well it finally happened. Jack Hoff's 675 pound girlfriend Shawna slipped on a rib bone and fell right on top of Jack and squished him. She tried to give him mouth to mouth but alas Jack was gone.
Probably a good thing as Jack doesn't have to see his beloved BGS stock go bankrupt. Stock was over $40 a month ago and now is below $32 and heading to bankruptcy.
Please say a prayer for Shawna. Who will now take her to her favorite buffet FEED ME MORE?
Just wait until the overall markets sell off the last hour today. We could easily see a $3-$4 per share haircut by the close.
As opposed to yesterday's sell off? Last week's sell off? Last quarters sell off? Last year's sell off? What about the sell off the year before?
The Finger of Death has spoken......
It is with heavy heart I report the demise of Tytus the Clown.
Will have more details of Tytus's passing as the week progresses but it appears he was assaulted by a group of angry midgets and did not survive his injuries.
In lieu of flowers the family has requested that interested parties wear big red noses for the rest of the month and consider having their feet surgically enlarged.
Newlyweds are doing well. Honeymooned at the prison's Subway.
Jared ordered double meat which brought a smile to Dilbert's pimply face.
Runs his silly mouth the ONE day that the stock goes up. Where are you today numnuts? Even though the Dow is up your precious CLCT is down yet again.
Just a matter of time before Subway Jared dumps you.
not any better. While most boys were active in sports and interested in girls, Dilbert was found playing even more with his growing collection of pocket protectors. He also seemed to develop an interest in boys, a very strange and perverse interest.
Dilbert was teased constantly, both is school and at the trailer park. He wore thick coke bottle glasses, had a very bad complexion, picked at his pimply face and wet his pants on many occasions.
Looks like he bounced around from orphanage to orphanage as a young child. Got beat up a lot by the boys
(and girls) in most of the places he stayed. He always seemed to want to play with pocket protectors by himself rather then engage in activities with others. They actually thought to give him a better chance at being adopted that they would place him in a kennel rather than an orphanage but I guess that never came to fruition.
Will update as I found out more....
about 8 years ago. Found his trailer park and went out there. Found him hiding behind some shrubs, trembling and snot running down his nose. You could see his pocket protector hanging from his tattered shirt. I motioned him to come out but he said he had been beat up so much by the little girls in school that he was afraid. He had a #$%$ filled pimply face, thick coke bottles for glasses, short and dumpy as I remember. Looked like a pretty bad case of lice because he was scratching his head a lot.