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Altria Group Inc. Message Board

general_vermowitz28 5 posts  |  Last Activity: Aug 3, 2014 12:51 AM Member since: Jan 28, 2010
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  • Reply to

    Medical System of USA vs Elsewhere

    by taxman3890 Aug 2, 2014 1:42 PM
    general_vermowitz28 general_vermowitz28 Aug 3, 2014 12:51 AM Flag

    cpt"Although melanoma is considered a less common form of skin cancer, you might be surprised to learn it’s the second most common cancer in women age 25-40 and it is the leading cause of cancer death for this age group"

    That's because cancer is very rare in that age group.

    Dunce, if there are only 9700 melanoma deaths per year in a country of 3 million, and if people tend to die when they are old rather than when they are 25 to 40 years old, there just cannot be many melanoma deaths in that age group. (Apologies to javalina for using math again)

  • general_vermowitz28 by general_vermowitz28 Jul 7, 2014 10:59 AM Flag


    With his empire in tatters, MacBeth considers a reverse split. He calls upon the obese withes on pogo shoes, and asks about his future. The first witch says: "No harm will fall upon you unless Ireland flourishes with cotton fields". Knowing that cotton is not known to grow that far north, he is relieved. The second witch says "No man of woman born shall harm you." Knowing that all men are born from female mothers, he is again relieved. The third witch tells him he will be safe until Great Birnam Wood dances over to Dunsinane Hill. Knowing that forests don't dance, he is further relieved.

    Princess Giada of Rome summons her cousin and lover, Fncydansir, to put an end to the tyranny of Macbeth. As Fncy's dancing army advances, Macbeth gets a report this army is advancing on Dunsinane shielded with boughs cut from Birnam Wood, in apparent fulfillment of one of the witch's prophecies. Nevertheless, he considers it merely a distraction. Then he learns that Fncydansir's assistant has started growing cotton in Ireland, yet another fulfillment of prophesy. Yet no matter how obvious impending disaster is, Macbeth just dismisses it.

    Fncydansir arrives at Macbeth's castle and begins to attack Macbeth in a sword dance. Macbeth screams "Yee shall not defeat me. The witches said no man born of woman would harm me. So taketh your meds." Fncy replies "I was not born of woman. I was torn from the womb. " [Skapespeare is referring to Caesarian section, quibbling that a Caesarian section is not "birth"] "I wanted to leave the womb early so I doth have more time to make money and have sex with women." With that, Fncy does a dance pirouette 12 feet into the sky, and land sword-first into Macbeth, killing him.

  • general_vermowitz28 general_vermowitz28 Jun 30, 2014 6:58 PM Flag

    " Rumor has it that the DNC has accelerated their truckload buys of her book in desperation at the failure of the books launch."

    You can always count on Diaper Rodent to make up a stupid lie.

    Where did you hear this "rumor" from? From your car wash employees with advanced degrees from MIT?

  • general_vermowitz28 by general_vermowitz28 Jun 1, 2014 7:59 PM Flag

    The actress who played Alice the maid in the Brady Bunch died today.

    As we mourn, perhaps the words from a former TV Guide editor can give us some comfort.

  • Reply to

    New Idea For Texas Survivor TV Series!

    by tall_ordder Jun 1, 2014 5:39 PM
    general_vermowitz28 general_vermowitz28 Jun 1, 2014 6:34 PM Flag

    The flaw with the idea of these bumper stickers is that it assumes right-wing Texans know how to read.

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