Pfizer Corp is making the anouncment today that VIAGRA will soon be availible in liquid form and will be marketed by the Pepsi Cola Comp as a power beverage suitable for use as a mixer. It will now be possible for a man to literally pour himself a "stiff" one. Obviously we can no longer call this a "soft" drink, and it gives new meaning to the names "cocktails", "highballs", and just a good old fashioned "stiff drink". Pepsi will be marketing the new concoction be the name of "mount and do"
This old man in his eighties got up and was putting on his coat. His wife said, "Where are you going?"
He said, "I'm going to the doctor."
And she said, "Why? Are you sick?"
"No," he said. "I'm going to get me some of those new Viagra pills."
So his wife got up out of her rocker and was putting on her sweater and he said, "Where are you going?"
She said, "I'm going to the doctor too."
He said, "Why?"
She said, "If you're going to start using that rusty old thing again, I'm going to get a tetanus shot."
Did you here about the man who died on overdosage of viagra, they couldn't close the coffin.
*A man fell asleep on the beach under the midday sun and suffered a severe sunburn to his legs. He was taken to the hospital. His skin had turned a bright red and was very painful and had started to blister. Anything that touched his legs caused agony. The doctor prescribed continued intravenous feedings of water and electrolytes, a mild sedative and Viagra. Rather astounded, the nurse inquired, "What good will Viagra do him in that condition?"
The doctor replied, "It will keep the sheet off of his legs."
*There was this guy from Louisiana. He had a tooth ache so he went to his dentist. When the dentist asked what was wrong he said he had a tooth ache. The dentist went to give him a shot of novicaine and he said, "Oh no you dont Doctor, I dont like needles so you better get that needle away from me." The dentist said, "Ok, then how about some gas?" the guy said, "Oh no you dont, doctor. Im allergic to gas." The dentist went into the backroom and came back out with a perscription and handed it to him. The guy said, "Doctor, I may be from Louisiana, but I know what this is, this is viagra." The dentist said, "Yeah, i know, but it will give you something to hold onto while I yank your tooth out."
I fully agree with Ashraf. Dadi was worthless. Only talk no action. I don't know how he survived for so long probably cause he was the YES man and a kiss #$%$
Market complacency over the timing and impact of Federal Reserve tapering could leave some investors unprepared for rising volatility in rates. Long vol positions in U.S. rates and dollar and long swap spread positions are favored as insurance against higher interest rate volatility.
Challenging year for fixed income. Tightening spreads and rising rates could make total returns challenging for fixed income investors. Corporates are favored over government bonds. High-yield bonds are expected to produce positive returns, though about half the gains seen in 2013. U.S. high-yield bonds may offer the best potential, with a total return of 4 percent to 5 percent. Among investment-grade bonds, Europe should lead the way with a return of up to 2 percent, followed by the U.S. at 1.5 percent, while Asia and emerging markets may suffer negative returns.
Global inflation rate to remain stable at close to 3 percent. After surging in 2011, inflation has fallen in almost every country, with the exception of those facing foreign exchange fueled price increases, namely Japan, Brazil, India and Turkey. Inflation in emerging markets is expected to increase from 4.7 percent in 2013 to 5.3 percent in 2014.
The U.S. housing recovery continues. The ongoing strengthening of the U.S. economy is expected to boost real estate values by another 5 percent in 2014.
Oversupply to contain commodities pricing. Global commodities prices will be contained in 2014 by oversupply in key sectors, especially global oil and grain, a strong U.S. dollar and modest global economic growth. The Merrill Lynch Commodity Index (MLCX) is expected to decline by 1.6 percent, less than the steep 5 percent decline in 2013. Gold values are expected to drop to $1,250 an ounce in the first quarter, before rebounding to normal levels later in the year. Other metals not in surplus, including zinc, platinum and industrial metals could outperform.
“ThreeBs” corroborate evidence of great rotation. Higher bond yields, a h
10 macro calls for the year ahead:
The Standard and Poor’s 500 Index is expected to rise to 2000 and the MSCI All-Country World Index to reach 444 by year-end. Gains in the year ahead imply a price return of approximately 11 percent, with modest earnings growth of 7 percent, driven by higher sales and additional buybacks.
U.S. and global economic GDP growth is expected to accelerate in 2014, to 2.6 percent and 3.5 percent, respectively. The U.S. economy is expected to expand in the second half of the year at a 3 percent rate, driven by the end of fiscal austerity and pent-up demand for capital goods. Slow growth of 0.8 percent is expected in Europe as credit and fiscal policy remains tight. China’s GDP growth will marginally decline from 7.7 percent in 2013 to 7.6 percent in 2014, but remains highest among the leading emerging market economies, while Japan is in transition, with another year of 2 percent growth.
Modest rebound for emerging markets. Following flat lined growth since 2007, the emerging markets should prove resilient in 2014, with modest growth recovery and rising productivity. Emerging market GDP is expected to rise 4.9 percent in 2014 with modest returns of 2.9 percent, 0.7 percent and 0.3 percent for local debt, emerging market foreign exchange and external sovereign debt.
U.S. rates to head higher, with 10-year Treasury yields expected to reach 3.75 percent. A rise in the Treasury yields by 85 basis points will have consequences for markets around the world, likely resulting in an increased interest rate differential in favor of the U.S. dollar, especially against the euro, which is expected to decline to 1.25 by year end. In addition, rising rate volatility may surprise. Interest rate volatility is expected going into 2014, with a target of 100 for the Merrill Option Volatility Expectations (MOVE) Index. Market complacency over the timing and impact of Federal Reserve tapering could leave some investors unprepared for rising volatility in rat
2014 Market Outlook: BofA Merrill Lynch Global Research Calls for U.S.-Led Red, White and Bull Market in Year AheadHigher U.S. Dollar, Interest Rates and Rate Volatility Create Upside Risk
BUSINESS WIRE 9:30 AM ET 12/10/2013
Symbol Last Price Change
BAC 15.55down -0.03 (-0.19%)
QUOTES AS OF 11:51:02 AM ET 12/10/2013
NEW YORK--(BUSINESS WIRE)-- BofA Merrill Lynch Global Research today released its outlook for the markets in 2014, calling for strong U.S.-led economic growth, higher yields and solid U.S. stock gains that are lower than in 2013 but higher than consensus. Meanwhile, a rising U.S. dollar and rising rates, as well as rising rate volatility, will have consequences for markets around the world as credit cycles diverge.
At the annual BofA Merrill Lynch Year Ahead outlook news conference held today in New York, analysts summarized the macro story of the year as inherent upside risk in a vigorous bull market for the U.S. dollar and a low, but rising interest rate environment.
“In 2013, we saw the 30-year bull market in bonds wind down and stocks soar, with a stronger recovery since 2009 than in the last five market cycles,” said Candace Browning, head of BofA Merrill Lynch Global Research. “As we move into 2014, we expect this trend to moderate but continue forward even with Federal Reserve tapering mid-year.”
Bearish on rates and commodities, long on volatility and bullish on real estate and equities, the BofA Merrill Lynch team expects a shift to lower liquidity/higher growth in 2014 and overall positive asset returns. Rejecting the outright bear market case for equities, analysts remain optimistic about stock market gains in the near term as high-quality, U.S. based companies with global exposure unleash value. However, they advise to move to middle ground, shedding the extremes of high yield or high growth stocks as long-term trends in the great global rotation continue to play out.
The BofA Merrill Lynch Global Research team made the following
I post going by the technical NOT of Intel but of the general markets. The markets have been going up for all the wrong reasons. A couple days ago GDP was reported at 3.6 percent and the market rallied BUT the true fact is that the GDP went up on built up inventory and unsold inventory. Companies had built up inventory on hopes of holiday sales as well as improving economy but that didn't seem to be the case. Watch out this month GDP will show up at 2 percent. Mark this post. The amount of margin money that people have borrowed and shoved it into the markets is the highest its been in the stock market history, you have the dip buyers that step in on any dips and until they dry up the market will continue to melt higher. Besides the history about the month of December giving you the highest return. But technically the market is way overbought and for all the wrong reasons and is way due past for a correction. I sometimes wonder if the markets will even correct - but always the retail investors get in at the top and get butchered. Maybe I am preaching to the choir but I would be careful cause once the tapering starts and the free money printing stops and the margin rates begin to climb up and people start to sell as they see its not worth their while to hold onto the stock any longer and pay the high interest rates everything will come apart. But when the tapering will start is also anyones guess could be dec, jan'14 or march. goodluck and have a nice day.
Almost everyone seems to expect stocks to continue higher into the year end, and the uptrend is unquestionable. But how strong is the stock market technically? The charts of the major indexes continue to suggest that a correction is overdue. The negative divergences between the technical indicators and the price moves still exist among the major indexes. In addition, in spite of last Friday's rally, both the short term and long term MACDs of both the Russell 2000 small cap index and the DJ Transportation index continue to head lower, suggesting the two indexes have been losing upside momentum. It is not a time to go wildly bullish.
Although there were big moves in the major indexes today, the lack of volume indicated that the upside momentum wasn't particularly strong. This will probably have longer term implications. In the near term, stocks are in a seasonally strong period for the weeks before Christmas, and we are likely to see a new leg of an up move. However, the tapering concern could be back on the table in about ten days before the December 17-18 FOMC meeting and most likely again in January should the Fed take no action in December. Keep your eyes on the market internals to see whether the rally can last. For now, watch for resistance near their record highs among the major indexes. For the S&P 500, that stands in the 1807-1813 area. And for the DJIA, the resistance is in the 16100-16200 area.
Citi as well as Drexel upgraded Intel and bumped its Target to 28 and 30 respectively. With the stock trading at 25.01 the Resistance level is at 25.98 and support is at 24.60.
Two married buddies are out drinking one night when one turns to the other and says, "You know, I don't know what else to do. Whenever I go home after we've been out drinking, I turn the headlights off before I get to the driveway. I shut off the engine and coast into the garage. I take my shoes off before I go into the house, I sneak up the stairs, I get undressed in the bathroom. I ease into bed and my wife STILL wakes up and yells at me for staying out so late!"
His buddy looks at him and says, "Well, you're obviously taking the wrong approach. I screech into the driveway, slam the door, storm up the steps, throw my shoes into the closet, jump into bed, rub my hands on my wife's #$%$ and say, 'How about a #$%$?' ... and she's always sound asleep."
The volatile moves in stocks suggested that the market didn't have a good idea of when the Fed would begin to taper. Technically, momentum readings are bearish. And stocks are not oversold yet in spite of four straight sessions of losses by the DJIA and the S&P 500. Odds favor a normal 3-5% pullback which could take the S&P 500 back to the 1720-1750 area. With that said, there is lots of data due out in the next two days which could swing stocks one way or the other. Tomorrow, the weekly jobless claims and the second estimate of the Q3 GDP will be released. On Friday, the November jobs report is due. In the meantime, for the S&P 500, watch for resistance near 1800 with support in the 1775-1780 area.
As I mentioned in yesterday's comment, there is too much optimism in the market. So it isn't a surprise to see a mean reversion, as stocks started December in an overbought condition. The S&P 500 hasn't had a normal 3-5% pullback since September. A normal pullback is overdue. With that said, this week's jobs reports (ADP report today followed by the official report on Friday) will likely determine stocks' next move. There are still dip buyers out there. So the near term downside is likely limited. For the S&P 500, watch for support in the 1775-1777 area, followed by 1750.
Two sessions of mild pullbacks didn't change the uptrend. However, the market internals, as well as the technical indicators of the major indexes, continued to show negative divergences from the record price levels. In addition, sentiment has gotten a little too complacent. The latest Investor Intelligence sentiment survey showed the bullish advisor percentage reading reaching 55.70, the highest level since April 2011. Stay cautious while there are too many bullish investors out there.
This week is a jobs report week. Expectations on the tapering will probably drive the market direction. A strong jobs report would lead to further tapering fear and lower stock prices, while an indifferent report would likely keep the market in a Goldilocks condition.
on Friday, TAPERING will be either in DEC 2013 or Jan 2014 and guess what??? The market will selloff.
Welcome to the world of insanity. The VIX was at 13 today and it aint gonna stay there cause the markets are way overbought.
A #$%$ cowboy rides into a town on a hot blistering day riding his horse with his dog following. He ties his horse and the dog under the shade of a tree. The #$%$ cowboy goes into the bar for a cold beer.
About 20 minutes later a policeman comes in and asks who owns the dog tied under the tree. The #$%$ cowboy tells him that its his. The policeman says; "Your dog is in heat".
The #$%$ cowboy answers; "No way the dogs in heat; he's cool, cause he's tied under the shade of the tree".
The policeman says; "No, you don't understand, your dog needs to be bred".
The #$%$ cowboy shakes his head and says; "No way the dog needs bread, he's not hungry, I gave him beef jerky this morning".
The policeman finally gets mad and says; "Look, your dog wants to have sex".
The #$%$ cowboy looks at him and says "Go ahead, I always wanted a police-dog".
To that the man asks, "Anything?"
And the blonde says, "Yes, anything!"
With that the man says, "Follow me."
He walks into the next room and tells her, "Come in and close the door."
She does this and then he says, "Get on your knees."
She does. He then says, "Take down my zipper."
She does. Then he says, "Go ahead, take it out."
With that, she takes it out and holds it with both hands. And then the man says somewhat impatiently, "Well, go ahead!"
She then brings her mouth closer to it, and while holding it very closely to her lips, she says," Hello, Mom?"
It appears the Santa Claus rally has already started as the shortened holiday week saw stocks lift steadily higher during the period. Promising economic data, improving markets overseas and an accommodating Fed seem to have put investors in the holiday spirit and intraday Black Friday numbers looked promising. However, with several of our major averages sitting at or near record highs the question is, will money managers turn into Scrooge and pocket their profits over the coming weeks? Hard to say but next week should give some clues as to how the Santa rally will play out.
Q: What does Barack Obama call illegal aliens?
A: Undocumented democrats.
Q: Barack Obama is on a sinking ship, who gets saved?
A: The Country!
Q: What did Osama Bin Laden's ghost say to Mitt Romney?
A: "Don't be sad, Obama's foreign policy killed me too"
Q: Whats Michelle Obamas favorite vegetable?
Q: Why did Obama change his name from Barry to Barack?
A: He thought Barry sounded too American.
U.S Presidents and Statesmen are on every piece Of U.S. currency.
So Will Barack Obama Be Placed On The FoodStamp Card?
Q: How did Barack Obama propose to Michelle Robinson?
A: He got down on one knee and said "I don't wanna be Obama self.
Q: Why is it pointless for Barack Obama to hold Senior Citizens Q & A sessions on the internet?
A: Because microwave ovens don't have internet connections!
Q: Why has America gotten past our racist past?
A: Because we picked a black man to clean up our mess!
Q: What is the difference between Obama and Jesus?
A: Jesus can put a cabinet together
I just made Romney noodles Obama self.