And the Ghosts of Christmas Future (bent over a cell toilet getting a Christmas screw)
Bubbles would tingle like a gerbil and the sugar is nutritious.
"Why is that your favorite, Timmy?"
"Because kids like it when grownups are dumber than us kids."
If it wasn't for Affirmative Action Conrad Murray would not be a doctor. Michael Jackson would be still a zombie, but a live zombie.
A Wyoming man was recovering from a gunshot wound to the arm after his loyal dog accidentally stepped on his gun and discharged it Monday. Johnson County Sheriff Steve Kozisek said Richard Fipps, 46, of Sheridan was working with two employees to move a vehicle and that Fipps was standing beside the truck when the mishap occurred.
Fipps told the dog, whose name and breed were not known, to get into the back seat of his truck. But when the pup obeyed, it accidentally stepped on Fipps' .300 Winchester Magnum, which was on the backseat, loaded and with the safety turned off. The round struck Fipps in the left arm, and he could end up losing the limb.
Another sign Wisconsin isn't doing well under Walker. Rhythms and Booms will not be held ending a 20+ year run. Gee, Walker, if you cut in half your state tax cut to 3M Rhythms and Booms would have the $400,000 they can't raise. Of, course, your campaign fund would have to return half of the $10,000 the 3M PAC gave this year.
Oh, yeah, cops, paramedics, fire work company, food and beverage vendors and suppliers, NO WORK FOR YOU! Getting kind of all too familiar with that slogan around here, ah?
Okay, all together now, "Scott Walker, where are the 250,000 jobs you promised?"
McDonald's sales are falling. General Mills, Kelloggs, ConAgra, Nestle, Mondelez, Kraft sales are falling. Demand for food pantries is going up. I'm not buying all is rosy with the economy with low wages. If it wasn't for low crude and low cash crop prices we'd be hurting.
"The one about Iraq having weapons of mass destruction and were going to attack the US which was on the other side of the world?"
"Yes, that's a funny one/"
"Daddy gets home from his third minimum wage job before you're asleep he'll tell you how wealth is going to trickle down to us from trickle down economics."
"Mommy, I'm tired of that one, grandpa heard that when he was little during the Reagan administration."
"Well, then, have you heard the fairy tale how Reagan balanced the federal budget and all was rosy with the US economy?"
"Yeah, I've heard that one too, he had Alzheimer's and he forgot to balance the budget so he gave us record high deficits I'm going to have to pay off."
"Reagan did give us all kinds of great military weapons, like pulling fifty year old battleships out mothballs and Star Wars."
"Yeah, I've heard that one, too, Mommy. The Brits found out large ships were sitting ducks to missiles during the Falklands War and they put the battleships back into mothballs. The Window of Vulnerability was a joke, the Chinese own a third of the US debt, they're not going to nuke it away."
"How about the one with the drunk Palins and the Thrillainwazzilla?"
"Oh, Mommy, those Republicans are so funny?"
How Reagan's Alzheimer's made him forget his promise to balance the federal budget, all the money that trickled down to the middle class from trickle down economics, trees causing pollution, how ketchup is the vegetable in my school lunch, no new taxes, potato is spelled with an e, how Iraq had weapons of mass destruction so we invaded them and #$%$ Nixon wasn't a #$%$. I just love a good fairy tale, don't you?
Very poorly managed bank, I got into only because they bought out South Trust, a fairly well managed large regional. South Trust's head soon disappeared after the merger, likely he would have been lambasted for engineering the merger and heading off into retirement.
Cheney doesn't have a heart. Hey, cons, respond to this. Cheney's heart transplant was on the dime, well a whole lot of dimes, of the federal taxpayer. Isn't public funded health care socialized medicine?
Finally, food served on planes, no bags of peanuts but actual Happy Meals. Playland on plane wings during flight would be perfect for parents who didn't want their kids anymore. Reduced fares as clowns are cheaper to hire than real pilots.
Man, I know where you're coming from. I was in a hurry for a sales pitch for my software and I got a couple of breakfast sandwiches. The belly sounds hit me right during my presentation and hoping nobody else could hear the gurgling was squashed seeing faces trying to hold back snickers. Trying to keep my focus while all I could think of was getting to a toilet for a major blow out was awful. After I was done I got to their comfort facility and the laughter from a couple of guys in the room hearing the gas and liquid coming out was the most humiliating thing I've ever experienced. I think it was part of the reason I didn't get the sale.
Hasta la vista, American jobs.
I say Cosby is an eight and Clinton is five and half so Cosby is packing 2 and half more inches.
A man who was found dead of a gunshot wound Tuesday morning, Dec. 9, has been identified as Alexander Keith Olenslager, 22, of Eagle Creek.
Responding Clackamas County sheriff’s deputies found his body in an outhouse on a property in the 27400 block of Southeast Highway 224.
The sheriff’s office issued a press release stating the death is believed to be accidental.
Deputies said they were told by Olenslager’s family members that he had been having a problem with one of his firearms.
According to the sheriff’s office, evidence was found that indicated Olenslager was trying remove a stuck cartridge from a malfunctioning weapon when it discharged shortly afterwards his colon discharged its contents, too.
The sheriff’s office and Clackamas County Medical Examiner’s Office continue to investigate the incident.