NOT true. Where do you get this stuff?
There has been an ongoing productivity issue arising out of some individuals who have either many vacation days or numerous sick days. Those who have to pick up the slack are less than thrilled and often less productive.
To solve this problem Creep has two recommendations. First, critical functions (such as HR lawyer gooning) will have a Permanent Employed Worker (PEW) who will step in to perform the role of the missing regular worker. This individual will be an extra headcount, not someone who is already on the team.
Second for functions that are that are not at all critical (like Senior Management), the salary of the absent person will be spread among the person's direct reports for the period the person is gone. Knowing full well that the missing person has car payments for their Lexus or Mercedes, the funds for the salary reallocation will come from a separate pool of money, not the absent person's paycheck.
CREEP believes this will reduce resentment although there is a risk that the direct reports will calculate the salary of their boss and make comments such as " I can't believe they pay that moron to do what he/she does."
to someone who posts on this board. I made a mocking reference to him, calling him "sayyoudontthink". This was insensitive and wrong. Please forgive me, sayyoustink.
There is a well founded principle that the more educated a customer is the better they will be as a customer. Conversely stupid customers have worse results and are a burden for TRV's staff.
To compensate for the extra work required from stupid customers the committee recommends that our pricing algorithms contain a "Renewal Stupidity Surcharge" (RSS). Basically a surcharge would be applied to long term policyholders because having not shopped their insurance they are obviously too stupid to deserve or best pricing or even too stupid to notice that we are not giving it.
Should insurance departments question our logic we can simply point to sayudontthink as a primary example of why the surcharge is needed.and if fact logical.
I am less than thrilled about this recommendation but am obligated to report it. The committee wants to kick off a trv employee program called Total Effort And Talent" (T.E.A.T). Basically they want TRV employees to show up for work on time and return form coffee break at the designated hour.. I drew the line at leaving work no earlier than normal quitting time despite the fact that traffic is bad or it might rain, so you won't see this in the final report. I figure that if the "biggies" can slip out on most Friday afternoons than the grunts should be able to leave a few minutes early to pick up a puking papoose.
Based on what we see here and lots of idle #$%$-chat during our meeting, the Committee has decided to publish guidance to make TRV employees more efficient. A list of "Time Waster Avoidance Techniques" #$%$) will be posted in each restroom stall and in each break-room. Topping the list will be
1. Checking the TRV YAHOO Message Board during work hours,
2. Checking FACEBOOK during any time of any year.
3. Reading Senior Management Memo's.
Employees are encouraged to add to the list, but not during work hours. .
Our review revealed that a shocking number of claimants had multiple claims and as such our staff was spending an inordinate amount of time on them. To properly account for the time, we are implementing a Claims Frequency Factor (CFF) to their claims We will be discounting their claim payment by 2% for their 2nd claim, 3% on their 3rd claim and so on until we reach a maximum of 10% at which point we felt we could go no further and live with a clean conscious. We will also send them a "Frequent Filer" member ship card and access to a web site where they could track their penalty, er I mean discount. .
been asked to come up with valid ideas to improve bottom line results. My first action will be to establish a committee that will generate good ideas. I call it the Committee to RE- energize Excellent Employee Productivity (CREEP). Our first meeting is later today. I will keep you posted on our progress.