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Hewlett-Packard Company Message Board

unclefulbert 356 posts  |  Last Activity: Dec 27, 2014 9:47 AM Member since: Mar 8, 2003
  • After HP bought the land from Varian in the early 1970s, much of what Jones remembers -- the acres and acres of apricots, the rambling farmhouse -- gave way to an office park. The company was growing like a weed, having just entered the computer business. But it never encroached on the barn.

    HP prepared the barn for the future, reconditioning it, replacing the roof and laying a new concrete foundation, says Ed Miller, who was then the company's computer manufacturing manager. Once spruced up, the 1,900-square-foot barn became a focal point of company social life, the site of the annual picnic, retiree reunions and frequent "beer busts," says Mahoney, the former Cupertino mayor, who spent most of his 35 years at HP working on the Cupertino campus.

    Before Jobs publicly detailed plans for Apple Campus 2, Mahoney and other public officials got a glimpse of a model. After a briefing by Apple CEO Tim Cook, then the company's chief operating officer, Mahoney says he had one overriding concern: What about the barn?

    Cook reassured Mahoney that Apple was well aware of the historic barn but still figuring out the best place for it. Planners ultimately settled on placing the barn near the new Apple fitness center, a place that's sure to be a hub for employees -- and still in public view.

    Long retired from HP, Miller, an 82-year-old Los Altos resident, had not heard what would become of the barn after his company sold the land. He was relieved to hear the spaceship and the barn can coexist.

  • unclefulbert by unclefulbert Dec 24, 2014 11:05 AM Flag

    “To each officer and soldier in the Third United States Army, I wish a Merry Christmas. I have full confidence in your courage, devotion to duty, and skill in battle. We march in our might to complete victory.

    “May God’s blessings rest upon each of you on this Christmas Day.- G.S. Patton, Jr., Lieutenant General Commanding, Third United States Army.”

    Almighty and most merciful Father, we humbly beseech Thee, of Thy great goodness, to restrain these immoderate rains with which we have had to contend. Grant us fair weather for Battle. Graciously hearken to us as soldiers who call upon Thee that, armed with Thy power, we may advance from victory to victory, and crush the oppression and wickedness of our enemies and establish Thy justice among men and nations.

  • unclefulbert by unclefulbert Dec 24, 2014 10:30 AM Flag

    Twas the night of Thanksgiving and out of the house
    Tiger Woods came a flyin', chased by his spouse.

    She wielded a nine iron and wasn't too merry,
    Cause a #$%$'s phone number was in his Blackberry.

    He'd been cheatin' on Elin, and the story progressed.
    Woman after woman stepped up and confessed.

    He'd been cheatin' with Holly, and Jaimee, and Cori,
    With Joselyn, and Kalika. The world had the story.

    From the top of the Tour to the basement of blues,
    Tiger's sad sordid tale was all over the news.

    With hostesses, waitresses, he had lots of sex,
    When not in their pants, he was sendin' them texts.

    Despite all his cryin' and beggin' and pleadin',
    Tiger's wife went investin' -- a new home in Sweden.

    And I heard her exclaim from her white Escalade,
    "If you're gettin' laid then I'm gettin' paid."

    She's not pouting, in fact, she is of jolly good cheer,
    Her prenup made Christmas come early this year.

  • unclefulbert by unclefulbert Dec 24, 2014 10:24 AM Flag

    There was a man who worked for the Post Office whose job was to process all the mail that had illegible addresses. One day, a letter came addressed in a shaky handwriting to God with no actual address. He thought he should open it to see what it was about.

    The letter read:
    "Dear God,
    I am an 83 year old widow, living on a very small pension. Yesterday someone stole my purse. It had $100 in it, which was all the money I had until my next pension check. Next Sunday is Christmas, and I had invited two of my friends over for dinner. Without that money, I have nothing to buy food with. I have no family to turn to, and you are my only hope. Can you please help me?



    The postal worker was touched. He showed the letter to all the other workers. Each one dug into his or her wallet and came up with a few dollars. By the time he made the rounds, he had collected $96, which they put into an envelope and sent to the woman. The rest of the day, all the workers felt a warm glow thinking of Edna and the dinner she would be able to share with her friends.

    Christmas came and went. A few days later, another letter came from the same old lady to God. All the workers gathered around while the letter was opened. It read,
    "Dear God,
    How can I ever thank you enough for what you did for me. Because of your gift of love, I was able to fix a glorious dinner for my friends. We had a very nice day and I told my friends of your wonderful gift. By the way, there was $4 missing. I think it must have been those bastards at the Post Office.

    Sincerely Yours


  • unclefulbert by unclefulbert Dec 24, 2014 10:21 AM Flag

    and they read comics, boondock, Calvin & Hobbes:

    Calvin: Well. I've decided I do believe in Santa Claus, no matter how preposterous he sounds.
    Hobbes: What convinced you?
    Calvin: A simple risk analysis. I want presents. Lots of presents. Why risk not getting them over a matter of belief? Heck, I'll believe anything they want.
    Hobbes: How cynically enterprising of you.
    Calvin: It's the spirit of Christmas.
    Calvin and Hobbes strip by Bill Watterson

  • unclefulbert by unclefulbert Dec 24, 2014 10:20 AM Flag

    They listen to dead people sing of White Christmas and watch The Simpsons; they are believers:

    If TV has taught me anything, it's that miracles always happen to poor kids at Christmas. It happened to Tiny Tim, it happened to Charlie Brown, it happened to the Smurfs, and it's going to happen to us.
    Bart Simpson

  • unclefulbert by unclefulbert Dec 24, 2014 10:14 AM Flag

    SCHIZOPHRENIA - Do You Hear What I Hear?

    MULTIPLE PERSONALITY - We Three Kings Disoriented Are.

    DEMENTIA - I Think I'll Be Home For Christmas.

    NARCISSISTIC - Hark The Herald Angels Sing (About Me)

    MANIA - Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and
    Streets and Stores and Office and Town
    . . . or Deck the Halls and Spare No Expense!

    PARANOIA - Santa Claus is Coming To Get Me.

    PERSONALITY DISORDER - You Better Watch Out, I'm Gonna Cry,
    I'm Gonna Pout, then MAYBE I'll tell you why.

    OBSESSIVE COMPULSIVE - Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell
    Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle
    Bell, Jingle Bell,
    Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell
    Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle
    Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle
    Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell,
    Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell . . .

    BORDERLINE PERSONALITY - Thoughts of Roasting in an Open

    PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE - On the First Day of Christmas My True
    Love Gave to Me (and then took it all away).

  • One Christmas Eve, a frenzied young man ran into a pet shop looking for an unusual Christmas gift for his wife. The shop owner suggested a parrot, named Chet, which could sing famous Christmas carols. This seemed like the perfect gift. "How do I get him to sing?" The young man asked, excitedly. "Simply hold a lighted match directly under his feet." was the shop owner's reply.

    The shop owner held a lighted match under the parrot's left foot. Chet began to sing: "Jingle Bells! Jingle Bells! ..." The shop owner then held another match under the parrot's right foot. Then Chet's tune changed, and the air was filled with: " Silent Night, Holy Night..."

    The young man was so impressed that he paid the shop-keeper and ran home as quickly as he could with Chet under his arm. When the wife saw her gift she was overwhelmed.

    "How beautiful!" She exclaimed, "Can he talk?" "No," the young man replied, "But he can sing. Let me show you." So the young man whipped out his lighter and placed it under Chet's left foot, as the shop-keeper had shown him, and Chet crooned: "Jingle Bells! Jingle bells!..." The man then moved the lighter to Chet's right foot, and out came: "Silent Night, Holy night..."

    The wife, her face filled with curiosity, then asked, "What if we hold the lighter between his legs?" The man did not know. "Let's try it," he answered, eager to please his wife. So they held the lighter between Chet's legs. Chet twisted his face, cleared his throat, and the little parrot sang out loudly like it was the performance of his life: "Chet's nuts roasting on an open fire...."

  • unclefulbert by unclefulbert Dec 24, 2014 9:58 AM Flag

    Santa was really #$%$, NOTHING was going right. Mrs. Claus had burnt the Christmas cookies, the elves were complaining about not getting paid for the overtime they had put in while making toys, and the reindeer had been
    drinking all afternoon and were dead drunk.

    They had taken the sleigh out for a spin earlier in the day and crashed it into a tree, breaking off one of the runners.

    Santa was beside himself with anger. "I CAN'T believe it! I've got to deliver millions of presents all over the world in just a few hours from now and all my reindeer are drunk and my elves are on strike. I don't even have a Christmas tree! I sent that stupid Little Angel out HOURS ago to find a tree and he isn't even back yet! What am I going to do?"

    Just then the Little Angel opened the front door and stepped in from the snowy night, dragging a Christmas Tree.

    He said, "Yo, Big Fat Man, where do you want me to stick the Christmas Tree this year?"

    And that's how the tradition of the Angel being perched on top of the Christmas tree came to pass...

  • I never believed in Santa Claus because I knew no white man would be coming into my neighborhood after dark.

    Grandda of Riley and Huey.

  • How about this Christmas classic:

    Three men die in a car accident Christmas eve. They all find themselves at the pearly gates waiting to enter heaven. On entering they must present something Christmassy.

    The first man searches his pocket, and finds some mistletoe, so he is allowed in.

    The second man presents a cracker , so he is also allowed in.

    The third man pulls out a pair of panties.

    Confused at this last gesture , St. Peter asks "how do these represent Christmas?"

    Answer "they're Carol's."

  • Reply to

    HPQ new high...

    by osulincat Dec 23, 2014 1:35 PM
    unclefulbert unclefulbert Dec 24, 2014 9:00 AM Flag

    Need to hit ~$57 after its 2000 split. More recently in the $50s in 2007 and 2010.

  • Initial Jobless Claims

    Initial Jobless Claims: -9K to 280K vs. 290K consensus, 289K prior (revised from 289K).

  • unclefulbert unclefulbert Dec 23, 2014 4:23 PM Flag


    Other than the diplomats, recall that they were retired SEALs turned private security contractors, not federal or CIA employees.

  • Reply to

    Russia crumbles and America keeps getting better

    by w.heinlein Dec 22, 2014 2:01 PM
    unclefulbert unclefulbert Dec 23, 2014 4:16 PM Flag

    lang, the GDP number was for 3Q14 ended on Sep, well before the Nov election.

  • unclefulbert unclefulbert Dec 23, 2014 4:14 PM Flag

    mho is the funeral for cops would come after those of lowly paid soldiers who volunteered in harms way for our safety and freedom. Cops die, tragedies just like a parent killed in an accident on the way to a second job to provide for his/her children. There are civilians who would risk their lives jumping in a river or running into a burning house to rescue a child or elderly while some cops or firefighters stood around behind safety regulations.

  • DOW 18019.95
    S&P 2085.34

  • unclefulbert unclefulbert Dec 23, 2014 9:31 AM Flag


    Only a handful of N. Korean elites have internet access and they must be executing their IT technicians. Why they can't order Rolex watches from Alibaba or stream their favorite movies from xxx sites?

  • Reply to

    5.0 nominal GDP headline number

    by unclefulbert Dec 23, 2014 9:07 AM
    unclefulbert unclefulbert Dec 23, 2014 9:27 AM Flag


    Revised up from 3.9% ... those Obama fans in charge of the statistics turned out to be Tea Baggers after all.

  • Reply to

    Russia crumbles and America keeps getting better

    by w.heinlein Dec 22, 2014 2:01 PM
    unclefulbert unclefulbert Dec 23, 2014 9:23 AM Flag


    What is good for USA is good for Texas. In 1998, 700,000 jobs disappeared monthly and they did not drive and homes went dark. Texas was not doing so well on its energy sector. Today, with Shale competition in other states and OPEC's refusal to slow down their pumps, Texas energy dependency is shifting to Obamacare and consumer malls.

40.70+0.16(+0.39%)Dec 26 4:02 PMEST

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