Carl Icahn just finished an interview with CNBC's Scott Wapner a day before Dell shareholders vote to take either his or Michael Dell's deal for control of the company.
He's throwing out zingers left and right and NO ONE is safe.
First off, Dell.
"There is no corporate democracy in this country and it's a sad sad situation," Icahn told Wapner.
Icahn says he's plugging the old Graham and Dodd philosophy. Dell, he maintains, is an undervalued asset, not a dying business.
"If you can get rid of that board, it's a great asset for the company."
As for whether or not he thinks Michael Dell will up his bid, Carl says, "I don't care a hell of a lot... I really want to own this company... the real money you make is when you own these companies... They keep hinting to me, well, what do you really want? I want to own this company... If Dell raises some of the big shareholders could go to him."
Oh, and no, Carl's not afraid of a proxy fight. He believes he can win. So there's that.
Wapner brought up Jim Chanos' negative comments on Dell, so obviously, Icahn moved his target, laying his sharp tongue out on the short seller.
"I like Chanos," said Carl Icahn, "but look at some of the stocks he's shorted, they've gone up...With all honesty I think I have a much better record than he does... I like the guy... The billions I've made are on companies Chanos might have been short... Here's what Chanos misses: These companies can be turned around with the right CEO and the right board."
After a few jokes about his wife running his hedge fund, Wapner asked Icahn how he felt about being called "the most disruptive man in business."
"Who called me that?" Icahn asked, "I think you did... You meet these guys somewhere that run a company and you say 'I wanna go after that company.'"
Now it's story time with Icahn.
"I don't even know if this guy is alive anymore," said Icahn. "The CEO of TWA... They did that thing when they weren't sure I wanted to buy the company."
A Judge asked the CEO and Icahn to appear in Court together.
"I go up and [Judge] Pollack looks at me... and asks, 'if you take over the company what would you do with him?'" (Him being the CEO).
Icahn responded that he would fire the CEO (who looks like one of those "head of the fraternity guys") immediately.
Judge Pollack said, "I find Mr. Icahn credible!"
"I'm being facetious," Icahn continued, "there are some good guys out there."
"What do these CEOs say to you over the phone?" asked Wapner.
"They never say anything to me on the phone," he said and then mumbled... "Oh Mr. Icahn we're so happy to have you as a shareholder..."
That, ladies and gentleman, is the sound of fear.
And yes, Icahn still owns Netflix. "I have to share some of it with my son and his partner," he grumbled grudgingly.
As for Herbalife, Icahn says "it's the daughter of all short squeezes," he said. "I've changed my thinking on Ackman. Anyone that makes me a quarter of a billion dollars, I like..."
Icahn admits that if he didn't dislike Ackman, he wouldn't have looked at the stock. "It's stupid to take a short position that big anyway... it's stupid to get a room full of people and tell them... he's not the best thought-of man on Wall Street, but I like him now so I'm not going to say anything..."
Wapner then read a statement from Ackman. He's at a Canadian Pacific board meeting, or as he put it, he has "a railroad to run."
Ichan countered, "if he's running the railroad I wouldn't want to be on it."
Now it's back to Dell. He really hates this board... "if we win they're STILL gonna fool around," Icahn said with frustration.
"In true Icahn fashion, you still win even if you lose," suggested Wapner.
Icahn said that in this case, there is a way he can lose. "What would be a terrible situation with me is if we go through the proxy fight, I lose the proxy fight, and I'm a minority shareholder... and Dell runs the company. That's a terrible situation in my mind... I would have nothing to say."
Now for the final question — Wapner asks if Icahn loses the Dell deal... will he just walk away and shake hands etc.?
Icahn says yes, "I would call him and say congratulations... I'm a big minority holder, I'm going to try to get out of it but... There's war and there's peace," he concluded, remembering the remarks of an old friend.
And with that he dropped the mic and walked off. Not really, but that's what it felt like.
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