Give Your Loved Ones the Ultimate V-Day Gift -- Peace of Mind

"Happy Valentine's Day, honey! I thought we'd celebrate by filling out our do-not-resuscitate forms!"

Contemplating your mortality -- or worse, that of your sweetheart -- is hardly a romantic rendezvous. But failing to plan for the inevitable means ruining more than just one romantic day for the people you love.

Without legal documents detailing your final medical and financial wishes -- your "exit strategy," if that's easier to stomach -- a bunch of strangers will determine how you go and who will get your stuff, consigning your loved ones to many fretful afternoons in probate court. If that happens, I suggest that you at least provide them with a list of delightful vignettes from your life to jar them out of the foul frame of mind they'll be in.

So, how about it, honey -- shall we prepare to die?

Your must-have forms

It doesn't take much to keep your sparkling reputation intact and ease a significant part of the burden of your passing. Two critical estate-planning forms will empower others to make decisions on your behalf when you can't due to incapacitation -- temporary or otherwise. You can even tie them up with a red ribbon to show how thoughtful you are.

1. Establish a living will (a.k.a. an advance medical or health-care directive). This tells your doctor how you want critical life support issues handled. (A do-not-resuscitate order is a separate simple form.)

Where to get it: Your doctor, local hospital, or senior center. Online, find your state medical association website via ama-assn.org/ama/pub/category/7630.html and download, fill out, and file a living will. To include more detailed health-care instructions with your living will, see agingwithdignity.org and caringinfo.org.

2. Fill out a durable power of attorney for finances. This ensures your affairs don't fall into disarray when you're not conscious. You can set it to kick in as soon as you're out to avoid legal pickles requiring your doctor and family to prove incapacity.

Where to get it: Many state medical association websites (see the link above) carry durable power of attorney forms. If not, ask your doctor, local hospital, or senior center for the proper form, or contact a lawyer. If your financial dealings are limited to a few institutions, use their in-house power of attorney forms.

Instructions:

1. Make them legal. For $200 to $400, lawyers can do the legwork. If you do it yourself, follow directions closely -- no fudging. For bulletproof forms, sign in front of a notary and have your agent (the person you've chosen to act on your behalf) sign, too.

2. Provide a plan B. Name primary and contingent agents on each form. If you and your spouse are in an accident, or if your agent cannot be contacted, a court will have to appoint a conservator or guardian, wasting precious time.

3. Change your mind right. To alter these forms, you'll need to revoke the existing ones and destroy all copies. There are revocation documents available, or you can type out your wishes (e.g., "I revoke my existing health-care directive from [date] and will execute a new one") and sign in front of two witnesses and a notary.

You will never truly know -- in this life, at least -- if your final financial wishes are carried out glitch-free. But you can leave less up to chance later by scripting what you can. Plus, doing so proves how thoughtful you really are, even if you did forget a few anniversaries and sweetheart days over the years.

 Dayana Yochim is the consumer finance expert for The Motley Fool and frequent  "phone a friend" and "referee" for couple friends in financial tight spots.