Billions of Taxpayer Dollars Flushed Down John Thain's 35K Commode

Just when you thought the greed and avarice on Wall Street couldn't possibly get any worse, Thursday brought revelations of John Thain's disgusting behavior. The imperial CEOs of the late 1990's-early 2000s - Enron's Key Lay, WorldCom's Bernie Ebbers and Tyco's Dennis Kozlowski - got nothing on this guy when it comes to pillaging from shareholders.

But Thain's abuse of U.S. taxpayers puts him in a far worse category.

In mid-December, at the same time Bank of America's Ken Lewis was begging Washington DC for what became $20 billion more in bailout money, Thain secretly approved an accelerated bonus pool of $4 billion for top Merrill employees. Oh the irony: the $15 billion paid to Merrill executives in fiscal 2008 essentially matched Merrill's fourth-quarter loss, which is what sent Lewis into a panic in the first place. (Correction: Earlier I reported the "secret" Q4 bonus pool was $15 billion - it was "only" $4 billion.)

All other of Thain's sins pale in comparison to this dastardly act, which New York State AG Andrew Cuomo is investigating, but let's list them anyway:

• Grossly understating the extent of Merrill's potential losses from Bank of America - assuming the latter firm's stance is to be believed: "The facts are that [Merrill's] fourth quarter was way beyond anything they said would happen," BofA spokesman Robert Stickler told The WSJ.
• Neglecting to personally tell Ken Lewis about Merrill's $15.3 billion loss, and going ahead with a pre-planned ski trip when the losses came to light.
• Stumping for his own bonus late last year before backing down in the face of public outrage.
• Spending $1.2 million of Merrill shareholder's money to redecorate his office in early 2008, including $87,000 for an area rug, $28,000 on curtains (shades of Kozlowski), 15,000 for a sofa, and $35,000 for a "commode on legs," etc.

Of course, Thain is innocent of any crime until proven guilty - and we certainly hope he gets his day in court.

As for Ken Lewis, whether he was the victim of Thain's fraud or his own incompetence, letting Thain go really should be his last act at BofA.