We’ve gathered 15 deliciously amusing turkey day tweets that will likely ring a bell for married folks.
[Thanksgiving at the In-laws]
Me (patting wife’s belly): “Remember you’re eating for two now”
Mother-in-law (smiling): “You mean...”
Me: “That’s right. She’s got a tapeworm”
— Frank Whitehouse (@WheelTod) November 13, 2017
My husband and I make a good team. I'm about to start cooking Thanksgiving dinner, and he's taking the batteries out of the smoke detectors.
— ᑌᖇᔕᑌᒪᗩ(s) (@3sunzzz) November 23, 2016
MOTHER-IN-LAW: There are Thanksgiving leftovers in the freezer
ME: Thanks but I…quit cold turkey
MIL: I never wanted you in this family
— Todd 'Papi' Carlos (@TheToddWilliams) October 6, 2017
Me: Everyone at work is sick.
Wife: Don't YOU get sick. We're going to my mom's for Thanksgiving.
Me [to coworker]: Spit on me right now.
— Rodney Lacroix (@moooooog35) November 23, 2016
Marriage is fighting over who gets the toilet when u get home from Thanksgiving dinner
— Laura Sprouls (@LauraSprouls) November 25, 2016
Having two thanksgiving dinners in one day is a byproduct of marriage that I am not mentally or physically prepared for
— Clayton J. De Fur (@claytondefur) November 24, 2016
“Hmmm, I thought I had some…….”
~My wife making something for Thanksgiving telling me I’m about to go to the grocery store.
— Boyd's Backyard (@TheBoydP) November 23, 2016
In-laws are both gone. It's FINALLY my turn to make Thanksgiving dinner the way I want to!
*Researches which Chinese restaurants deliver*
— Bianca LaVagina (@AnitaHelmet) November 24, 2014
The second hardest thing about spending Thanksgiving at my MIL's house is resisting the urge to tweet hilarious childhood photos of my wife.
— Audrey Coulthurst (@audwrites) November 26, 2016
Driving hrs to see inlaws,spending an entire day making a feast my kids will gag over,then cleaning?
Of course I'm excited ab Thanksgiving!
— Salty Mermaid (@Jenn_H_Scott) November 16, 2016
The post-Thanksgiving argument in our house.
My Wife: You've had enough pie!
Me: I had enough pie when the pie is gone!
— Keith Townsend (@CTOAdvisor) November 27, 2016
One of my biggest fears is that I'll marry into a family that runs 5ks on holidays
— Natalia Skrodzki (@xNatata) December 24, 2016
Do your parents like Jell-O shots?
-Me trying to make a shopping list for Thanksgiving.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) November 16, 2016
"I'll clean the carver- you toss the carcass" - only time of year I can say that to my wife wo us sounding like MAFIA HITMEN. #thanksgiving
— Cliff Bleszinski (@therealcliffyb) November 25, 2016
Husband: You're at the grocery store AGAIN?
Me: Well, yeah. I'm meal prepping for Thanksgiving. I need to feed thirteen people for a week. I have to get everything on my spreadsheet.
Husband: You have a spreadsheet?
Me: *scoffs* Who doesn't have a Thanksgiving spreadsheet???
— Abby Jimenez (@AbbyJimenez763) November 11, 2017
Watch original series, sports and more on go90.