Thanksgiving is a time for taking note of the loved ones and gifts around you. It's when we step back and appreciate everyone we should be thankful for - whether living or dead. It's a holiday not about gifts or commercialism or made for TV movies or carols or wars over coffee cups. It's about being together. It's about appreciating what you still have. On Kevin Can Wait, it's about lying to your family about who is making dinner and cooking up an incredibly uncomfortable neighborhood love triangle.
This week, Kevin Can Wait introduced a suspicious new (?) character, Unhinged Neighborhood Cook, a woman who often brings over food to the Gable family. What seems like a well-intentioned gesture in the wake of Donna's mysterious death immediately takes a dark turn when King of Queens Star Leah Remini realizes there's more to these gifts of food than Kevin realizes. Unhinged Neighborhood Cook is trying to seduce Kevin. He doesn't realize it, apparently, even though she's objectively far more attractive than he is.
Even though Kevin insists on making Thanksgiving dinner on his own, Unhinged Neighborhood Cook convinces him to lie to his family and have her make the food and pass it off as his own. It's a bad plan! Wouldn't the family realize he's not cooking anything? Wouldn't it be pretty obvious when they don't smell any actual food baking? Certainly none of his family or friends believe he has the talent to make even a serviceable meal. None of these holes in the plan were considered, and naturally it's immediately sidelined when King of Queens Star Leah Remini catches Unhinged Neighborhood Cook bringing in the first batch of food.
This is where things get really fucking weird.
King of Queens Star Leah Remini confronts Unhinged Neighborhood Cook about her food-focused luring of Kevin.
"You like him, you're trying to discourage me from liking him because you like him," Unhinged Neighborhood Cook tells King of Queens Star Leah Remini. "Now hear this skank... I've been trying to open this pickle jar for 10 months now."
Wait. Hold on a second. The beginning of Season Two started one year after dear, sweet Donna's mysterious death. We can assume that the first nine episodes of Season Two took place over a couple of months, which means Unhinged Neighborhood Cook started pursuing Kevin six months after his wife abruptly died. We already know this show has some fucked up views on taking advantage of grieving people, but why was Unhinged Neighborhood Cook so eager to jump Kevin? Is it possible she had something to do with Donna's death - a murder, perhaps, so that she could have Kevin to herself? Certainly the interaction with King of Queens Star Leah Remini is proof that this woman has some major issues. Where's her family? Why is she spending Thanksgiving cooking for people she hardly knows? Is this some obsessive stalker situation?
A few other stray thoughts from this week's episode of Kevin Can Wait:
• Donna is passingly mentioned a total of three times. Kevin says, "I know this is going to be difficult without mom, but we still have a lot to be thankful for." Daughter 2 replies, "Last year mom taught me how to make the cornbread."
• Kevin appears to be sexually stimulated by a woman cleaning the giblets out of a turkey:
• Son seems to have some sort of anxiety regarding storms and other natural disasters, which makes me think it might have something to do with how Donna died?
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