You put on a gown, fall in love with it, and once you step out of the dressing room to show your mom, she doesn't have the same affinity for it. As a bridal consultant, I see this happen all the time. This moment can be a bit discouraging and can lead to a tension-filled appointment, but it doesn't have to!
If your mom needs a little convincing as to why this is the perfect gown for you, here are a few ways to get her on board.
Make sure she knows you like it
Speak up! Let your mom know how much you love the dress before she has the opportunity to shut it down. Take a moment in the dressing room with your consultant to see how you feel in the gown and think about how you're going to express that it's a favorite. If you feel confident in the dress, it will show in your demeanor, so don't wait for her reaction to give your opinion. If you tell her you feel confident and happy in the gown, it'll be hard for her to ignore that! Remember- this is your dress and at the end of the day your mom wants you to feel beautiful, so show her that you do!
Explain why you love it
Think about why you love the dress so much. Is it the fit? The fabric? The silhouette? Think about what it is you love about the gown. Do you love the way it elongates your waist or does the color flatter your skin tone? Have a few compliments in your back pocket in case mom has some less-than-kind feedback. You can counter what she says, for example, if her reaction is "this silhouette isn't what I was thinking for you" reply with something specific like, "I love the way it contours my body, I think really flatters my figure." Focus on how you feel versus telling your mom that her feelings are wrong.
Try on something she picked out
Chances are your mom is going to pick something for you to try on that you know you're not going to like. She's only eager to help so I recommend just doing it to please her. She probably won't pressure you to do anything further if you tell her it doesn't feel like you. It will make her happy to see you in a gown she picked out, so throw it on just for fun, it's not worth fighting over.
Let the consultant know how much you love it
A good sales consultant is focused on finding something you love, not your mom, so use us to your advantage. Let us know you really love the gown and that you're not so sure how mom feels about it. We know all the right talking points for gowns that are occasionally met with apprehension and are trained to handle situations like this when the bride and the mother don't see eye to eye. Don't worry, we're on your side, so let us know and we'll be there to help!
Put on a veil
I usually see the emotional wall come down when a bride puts on a veil with her gown. Any negativity the mom feels toward the dress usually washes away when she sees her daughter wearing a veil. It becomes more "real" to her and her thoughts travel to the excitement of the wedding day and away from the dress. Tugging at mom's emotional heartstrings is a great way to settle a debate over a dress.
Go to a trunk show
If you find a dress you like that mom isn't totally sold on, see if there is a trunk show for the designer coming up at the store. Trunk shows are when the designer or a rep for the designer come to the bridal store with the latest gowns from the collection. You'll get the chance to meet with people who interact with the designer and/or the gowns on a daily basis and they can answer any super specific questions you may have about alterations or anything else. The consultants can do this as well, but the designer or a representative for the brand might make your mom feel at ease. Plus, trunk shows usually come with discounted prices on gowns.
Style Me Pretty Contributor – Sarah Title is a travel & wedding writer and editor living in Washington D.C. She also works part-time at a bridal salon in Georgetown helping women find the perfect dress. When she isn't working, you can find her at the closest oyster bar enjoying a glass of rose or catching up on the latest celebrity gossip.