As if everything in the world didn't seem to be going wrong at the moment, now the holidays are here which is about as convenient as the Grinch showing up to Whoville armed with bags to loot the place on Christmas Eve.
Just trying to navigate any home for the holidays situation without getting into a heated debate over politics with that annoying relative might be a little tough, but I've got your back -- literally.
These spa services (and at-home devices) are going to chill you the F out before you go into battle and yes, it's completely acceptable to treat yo'self instead of someone else (this year especially but I'm a firm believer in always).
Personally I live for a good massage or body wrap, while others (ahem Dan) lives for a major facial, but we'll get to his favorite later. There's also a slew of new tech-y beauty toys that do a million amazing things for your skin (and state of mind), so you may want to add those to your cart.
If all else fails and you're too mis to make it to the spa (or to your Amazon Prime check-out cart) you can always go the wine and bubble bath route. You just do you.
In any other context a "rhythmic rubdown" might seem creepy as hell, but in the spa world it's just plain genius. Tuning out to a playlist of your choice in a pair of noise-cancelling headphones while getting pampered at the same time? Sign. Me. Up. Plus, your therapist massages your kinks and knots out to the beat for 75 minutes, so it's like you have your own personal DJ who knows everything about pressure points. Stress = gone.
NuFACE Trinity, $325
If you want to take a few years off (without having to haul your ass over to the spa), consider NuFACE, which is an at-home treatment that's the equivalent of a non-invasive face-lift, basically. It might look like a fancy vibrator, but it's way better than that since it can tighten and brighten your skin (and reduce these annoying wrinkles) via micro-current technology after just five minutes. Your rabbit can't do that.
Mani/pedis are great and all, but throw some mint chocolate into the mix and whoa -- MIND BLOWN. First, all your dead skin is sloughed off (THANKS November) with this decadent scrub that smells and feels like the holidays, in a jar. Next, your hands and feet are massaged with a super-rich hydrating cream. Did we mention you get a spiked mint hot chocolate beverage during said service? Slightly tipsy and freshly polished? We're in.
As the resident facial addict in the office, Dan likes to describe this one as "the best GD facial ever." That's probably because it's the holy grail of procedures -- AKA everything in one. An oxygen facial with light therapy, followed by micro-current stimulation, followed by more oxygen therapy, then some diamond microdermabrasion, and finally biosonix ultrasound and you'll leave with the most taut-looking skin imaginable. It also helps clear up acne, scars, pigmentation, uneven tone, enlarged pores, and fine lines, so there's that.
Right before you hit the dessert buffet (and/or open bar) at virtually every holiday party you've got jammed into your seasonal cal, you may want to detox. You may want to do this post-NYE and the food/drink/glitter hangover that will delightfully greet you in 2017, as well. Sure you could try this the vegan way, or do a cleanse, or vow to swear off X,Y, and Z, but you could also just have your body wrapped in seaweed. Same thing. This marine-based treatment rids you of the horrible toxins that you're harboring thanks to a clay and seaweed mask that's combined with a deep-cleansing wrap. Aside from taking a lovely snooze on the table when you're wrapped up in tinfoil like a baked potato, you'll also benefit from feeling softer and looking arguably more glowy -- and healthy -- when you leave.
This gizmo slash gadget is every lazy girl's beauty dream come true because it applies your eye cream for you while gently massaging the area around your peepers in a way that can only be described as highly enjoyable. Just like watching this tiny hamster eating a carrot, wrapped in a blanket, but I digress. Just dab your favorite eye cream or serum (I like La Prairie Essence of Skin Caviar Eye Complex) on those puffy dark circle in the am (or at night), hit the power button, and let the magic happen. Alternating T-Sonic technology (that feels like little waves rolling over your skin) makes all the bad go away and it helps absorb your product faster, so it won't get all over your pillow (me, every night). It's also 100% ophthalmologist approved, so you won't go blind or anything, just in case you were wondering.
If you're stressed the F out due to planning, hosting, attending, or boycotting festive functions in the next few months, chances are you could be experiencing hair loss. OK probably not, but in the off-chance that you are or know someone who is, or are totally zen but just have thinning follicles, then you're in luck because the craziest tool is about to fix all that. This hair growth stimulation headband (of sorts) uses 82 medical-grade lasers to deliver low-energy light to your scalp while hair-parting teeth (yes, apparently that's a thing) create easy rows for those rays to get up in there. Before you call bullshit, the Hairmax is indeed FDA-cleared for guys and girls and people have noticed results after 12-16 weeks of these 90-second treatments. So if fuller, thicker locks are what you want in the new year, consider 'em yours -- if you've got $795 (plus tax).