2017 really, truly is the gift that keeps on giving.
Because amidst rising international tensions, political parties, sexual assault allegations all over Hollywood and NFL protesting, we have now found yet another thing to start an internet war over — Pizza.
Yes, the simple invention that has transformed fighters into lovers, a bonding force in a world so divided, is now at the center of what the Twitter-verse is now calling the Great Pizza War of 2017.
Some key players here are Papa John (the man), Papa John’s (the place), DiGiorno (#notdelivery), the NFL and Colin Kaepernick (okay, indirectly but still!)
Let’s take a deep dive, shall we?
This entire thing began when John Schnatter, aka THE Papa John of Papa John’s, claimed that the NFL protests (where players have been kneeling during the national anthem in an effort to protest racial inequality and police brutality in the U.S.) were responsible for the company’s dip in sales this quarter:
"We are totally disappointed that the NFL and its leadership did not resolve the ongoing situation to the satisfaction of all parties long ago. This should have been nipped in the bud a year and a half ago."
If you’re not seeing the connection here, it’s important to note that the NFL is crucial to the success of the pizza chain, as both business have been partnering together since 2010 (Papa Johns is the official pizza of the NFL).
This, of course, sparked rage across the internet, with many users calling Papa John’s “racist”:
Yeah, not such a good look.
So then, to subtly add pizza grease to the already raging fire, Pizza Hut’s CEO, Greg Creed, slides in with this comment (re: Papa John’s) to investors on Thursday:
"We're not seeing impact on any of that on our business.”
THE SHADE OF IT ALL!
Naturally, this sends all of Twitter into a complete and utter frenzy over what has now (We guess?) inadvertently become a battle between Pizza Hut and Papa John’s:
Ridiculous, we know, but we’re not even at the good part yet.
Out of LITERALLY nowhere, like, whatever the equivalent of left field is in the world of pizza companies, comes none other than frozen pizza king DiGiorno Pizza with a savage subtweet aimed directly at none other than Papa John's:
Who invited you, DiGiorno? Did anyone ask?!
Some pizza chains just like to watch the world burn, we guess.
But DiGiorno didn’t stop there. They ruthlessly continued a stream of tweets against Papa John’s, even taking the time to respond to consumers tweeting at them in favor of the Twitter warfare:
If you caught that tweet that said “#NewTwitterBio”, here’s the bio DiGiorno was referencing:
In case you forgot, Papa John’s slogan is “Better Ingredients. Better Pizza. Papa John’s.”
We do DiClare (that was a stretch, sorry) that DiGiorno might have just pulled off the pettiest move across all of Twitter but hey, all is fair in chain-brand pizza and war right?
This is a developing story that we truly cannot believe we are actually reporting on but when words fail, pizza speaks, so here we are.
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- This article was initially published on AOL.com: Everything you need to know about the Great Pizza War of 2017