A recent GQ profile of Tucker Carlson described the Fox News host as the epitome of "an America divided between its best and worst selves, a place where men in Ford trucks with BENGHAZI bumper stickers get the finger from shaggy-haired Volvo drivers, only to find out their kids are on the same T-ball team." In other words, when he's working his day job hosting Tucker Carlson Tonight, he'll bite your head off if you say a single bad thing about President Donald Trump - but in his personal life, he's a pretty OK guy. Unfortunately for all of us, though, we really only see the batsh*t-crazy side on TV. On Sept. 19, though, we were given a peek at an altogether different side of Carlson: he was so baffled by his guest that he couldn't bring himself to say a single spiteful thing . . . and it was truly glorious.
The self-described "Oracle of Los Angeles," Amanda Yates Garcia, was Carlson's guest in the segment. Garcia explained that she, along with thousands of other witches across the country, were casting monthly "binding spells" (or symbolic actions) to try and protect the people they love from the harmful policies of our president. Carlson was gobsmacked. "Most people just go ahead and vote or, like, buy a t-shirt," he said. "Is this legal? Can you run around and cast spells? Are you allowed to cast spells on people? Is there any federal regulation of this?"
Garcia didn't lose her stride; instead, she immediately schooled Carlson on the meaning behind a symbolic action and why it's not something that inflicts any sort of real, tangible harm. But he had already moved on to the next thought. "I've interviewed a lot of people, but I've never interviewed a witch," he said, adding, "Sincere question: is eye of newt an actual ingredient?"
Understandably, Garcia tried to turn the conversation back to more important things - student debt, immigration, North Korea - but Carlson wasn't interested and instead continued to interrogate her on both eye of newt and the ethics of the supernatural. Here's the thing, though: it was completely earnest questioning, and not just because Carlson continuously framed his questions as "sincere," but because he seemed to be learning something new.
"You think good intentions will protect you?" Carlson asked at the end of the interview, before breaking character and answering himself. "I don't know. I don't know! It's kind of spooky, but you seem nice and I'm glad that you came on."
Watch the interview in full above and be thankful that there are only three months left of the exceedingly weird year that is 2017.