It can sometimes be incredibly lonely when you’re autistic.
You can have a day where nothing seems to be going right for you, and before you know it, you’re one bad thing away from a full-blown meltdown. Then it’s hell, and not just for you, either. Anyone who inadvertently gets caught in the crossfire isn’t going to be too happy, to say the least.
In addition, the heat of the moment from the fallout could linger for a few days, and because you’re not well versed in connecting with people, they may assume you don’t give a shit. Couple that with the storm that is your thoughts raging inside your head, and it’s not a fun experience. This used to happen to me more often than I would like to admit, from about 15 years ago all the way up until I hit 30.
While I do still have the occasional meltdown, their occurrence seems to be fewer and further between. If anything, I’ve learned the positive thoughts will always win through eventually, even if they take their time to do so. Couple that with a small select group of people who will always look out for you no matter what, and how can you go wrong?
It can sometimes be incredibly lonely when you’re autistic. But when you know you’ve got people who look out for you no matter what, and who do their best to understand how you read the world, that doesn’t just make life tolerable. It can make it wholly worthwhile. Having those people there when I’ve been at my lowest point post-meltdown has helped me out more times than I can count. Simply put, I don’t know if I can articulate how grateful I am to them, or whether or not I would even still be here if they weren’t there for me.