“This is the debut presentation of what I think will be a nightmare-inducing robot.” Well, he said it, not us. (We were only screaming it in our waking nightmares.) That nightmare-inducer is the newest terrifying robot from Boston Dynamics, purveyors of such fine robots as the foul-mouthed but dash cunning Atlas, the SpotMini, and — perhaps most iconically — Big Dog and Spot.
The new robot is called Handle, probably because we can’t handle this:
They gave him wheels. Yes, the robots that used to have trouble just balancing on two legs can now do trick jumps on two wheels and just generally maneuver better than we can on most Friday nights:
That’s radical! Also terrifying.
As Steve Jurvetson explains in the video above, Handle can quickly carry cargo around, and it’s faster than Boston Dynamics’ other robots as well as being cheaper to mass produce. Harder to outrun and easier to mass-produce? GEE THANKS.
At least we may be able to foil it by running to rough terrain. Gizmodo explains:
Handle appears to be limited to mostly smooth surfaces, where it can roll with minimal resistance. The trade-off would allow Handle to move much faster and more efficiently, in a factory or warehouse environment where it doesn’t have to worry about ever having to tackle rubble or debris. But as demonstrated in this video, Handle is still able to tackle some obstacles, including leaping over a short wall.
Considering we make robots wipe our butts and pass the butter (hope they washed their hands first), we can only imagine what kind of vengeance these robots will someday enact. Get your Old Glory Robot Insurance rates locked in while you can.