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You’re not a real man unless you buy $425 jeans with mud already on them

As a guy, buying jeans is a pretty disheartening affair. Sure, they’re comfortable, versatile, and generally affordable, but what if I don’t care about any of that and just want my denim to look like I yanked it out of a bucket actual cow manure? Well, up until today my options have been limited in that regard, but thankfully it seems Nordstrom has recognized that gaping hole in the menswear market and came through with a product truly worthy of celebration: pre-dirtied jeans that are so incredibly filthy you’ll feel like you’ve done a hard day’s work before you’ve even poured your morning coffee.

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Nordstrom is now selling Barracuda Straight Leg Jeans by Japanese clothing designer PRPS, and they are truly a unique offering. They’re pretty standard denim apparel, and they’ve been distressed to give them a pre-worn look, but PRPS didn’t stop there. After the somewhat over-the-top wear-down from the factory, an extra layer of, well, crap has been added to the jeans as well.

Now, when I say “crap,” I don’t mean a few splashes of faux stains or some drips of paint — I mean the pants are literally smeared and caked with a permanent fake mud that makes them look like they were worn by Andy Dufresne as he crawled out of Shawkshank. These are some seriously disgusting looking jeans, but PRPS is pretty proud of what they’ve created, boasting that they are “Heavily distressed medium-blue denim jeans in a comfortable straight-leg fit embody rugged, Americana workwear that’s seen some hard-working action with a crackled, caked-on muddy coating that shows you’re not afraid to get down and dirty.” Wow. $425. Double-wow.

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See the original version of this article on BGR.com