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Oath, The Place Yahoo’ll Go!

Madison Malone Kircher

As Marissa Mayer’s days at Yahoo are drawing to an end, her almost-former employer is inching toward finally closing that deal with Verizon. (Everybody pause and say a prayer that nothing else over at Yahoo gets hacked in the next few weeks.) According to a report today from Business Insider, once Verizon acquires it, the plan is to merge Yahoo with AOL. From there, a source told BI, the newly merged companies will get a, um, snazzy new name. Drumroll please …. introducing (reportedly) Oath.

Oath. Oath. OATH! It’s a word that has the built-in ability to stop looking and sounding like a real word if you type it and say it enough times. (Oath. Oath. A thousand times Oath.) Verizon’s acquisition of Yahoo should be complete by the end of April, though there’s still plenty of time for either party to back out of it. At that point, assuming the deal is a success, Yahoo’s name will also cease to be Yahoo. Instead, the company has indicated it will be going by Altaba, Inc., from that point forward. So technically, the artist formerly know as Yahoo, soon to be known as Altaba, will be merging with AOL to form Oath. Here’s hoping somebody over at Verizon sets them up on a playdate with Tronc. Kids whose parents gave them silly names need to stick together.

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