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At What Point in This Giant-Chicken Video Did You Stop Saying “Haha” and Start Saying “Oh, No”?

Brian Feldman

First point of order: Watch this video.

Now, there is just one question: When, in the course of watching this ominously soundless footage, did you stop saying, “Oh, wow!” or “Ahahaha,” and start asking yourself, “Where is my go bag? What are the fastest routes out of the city?”

Was it at 0:02, when the chicken pokes its enormous head out of the coop?

Was it at 0:06, when the enormous farm bird flaps its wings?

Was it at 0:14, when you realized that you could place a saddle on him or her and ride it like a small mule? Assuming the bird did not kill you?

Was it at 0:36, when you started pondering the size of the egg from whence this beast emerged?

Was it at 0:45, when you realized there was another creature in the coop?

Was it at 1:06, when the second smaller-but-still-larger-than-you’d-ever-seen-in-your-life chicken came into full view, and you realized that humanity is no longer at the top of the food chain?

At what point in this video did the blood drain from your face, and you thought about calling your family to tell them you loved them, one last time?

(The chicken seen here is apparently a Brahma chicken. According to the Livestock Conservancy, they are endangered, but are recovering, and generally weigh between 14 and 18 pounds.)

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