Ryan Reynolds's All-Time Funniest Tweets About Parenting
[BLANK_AUDIO] [MUSIC]
Chrissy Teigen may be deemed the Queen of Twitter for her hilarious clap backs, but she has some competition for the throne in Ryan Reynolds. The father of two is always hilarious on social media, but his tweets about his daughters, 2-year-old James and 1-year-old Ines, always take the cake. And they aren’t always PG.
According to Reynolds, he runs messages about his daughters by his wife, Blake Lively, before posting. “Some of the ones about our daughter or parenting ones or [with] advice no one should take, I run past her, in case she objects,” Reynolds told Entertainment Tonight earlier this year.
And there’s one more reason the actor asks his wife before posting: She can’t log in to her Twitter account! “Luckily I lost my password to Twitter about a year and a half ago, so I haven’t been able to keep up. Everybody’s always asking about it, but I never know. He’s so funny, but [needs] a lot of therapy,” she joked on Good Morning America in October.
RELATED: Blake Lively on Filming Sex Scenes While Married to Ryan Reynolds
Keep scrolling to read some of Reynolds’s most hilarious parenting tweets and see just what Blake is missing.
My daughter loves being buried up to her neck in sand at the beach. Her little face lights up when I come back to get her the next day.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) July 16, 2017
Being a Dad isn't just about eating a huge bag of gummy-bears as your wife gives birth. It means being comfortable with the word hero.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) June 18, 2017
My daughter gets so pumped watching Disney films. She loves that they all have singing, dancing and a part when the parents die.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) June 4, 2017
Went to Disneyland because my daughter's obsessed with Mickey Mouse. She was so excited when I got home and told her.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) January 30, 2017
I watched Frozen without my two year old this morning. Despair reveals itself in many forms.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) November 9, 2016
The mobile above my daughter's crib is just a whole bunch of NuvaRings. So she remembers how lucky she is.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) October 20, 2016
On our 6am walk, my daughter asked where the moon goes each morning. I let her know it's in heaven, visiting daddy's freedom.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) October 16, 2016
Ask your doctor if you qualify for an extension. A 4th, possibly even 5th trimester can be very peaceful for the father. Congrats. https://t.co/CTdyI66in3
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) October 11, 2016
Nah. Nailed it. https://t.co/es6VTCv4cF
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) September 8, 2016
Damn it's hard letting your infant daughter go somewhere alone for the first time. I was a total mess dropping her off at Burning Man.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) September 7, 2016
This morning, my daughter said, "quiche" which means she's smart, hungry and an asshole.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) August 21, 2016
My daughter love the @MileyCyrus song, "We Can't Stop" because she thinks it's about cutting the brake lines on my car.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) August 17, 2016
Jokes on you. We're not teaching her to read. Boom. https://t.co/gwGgx7pNQQ
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) July 22, 2016
Being a father is the single greatest feeling on earth. Not including those wonderful years I spent without a child, of course.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) July 22, 2016
My infant daughter's traumatized for life. 50 Shades of Grey = Worst fucking coloring book ever.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) July 17, 2016
Being a father means responsibility. Not just for your main family, but also the secret one in Denmark nobody knows about.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) June 19, 2016
After this morning's diaper, my daughter finally earned the teardrop tattoo on her face.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) June 14, 2016
My daughter just sneezed into my yawning mouth. Seemed really fucking pleased with herself. Joke's on her. She'll have to bury me someday.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) April 16, 2016
I'd walk through fire for my daughter. Well not FIRE, because it's dangerous. But a super humid room. But not too humid, because my hair.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) September 11, 2015
Nothing better than spending an entire morning staring into my baby daughter's eyes, whispering, "I can't do this".
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) August 26, 2015
Surprisingly easy to teach a baby to swipe right.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) August 16, 2015
On Fathers Day, my daughter smiled at me.
It was all the gift I needed as I packed a bag and left for 6 years to write a book on parenting.— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) June 21, 2015
My daughter's only 6 months old and already drawing. I'd hang it on the fridge but honestly, it's absolute garbage.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) June 19, 2015
Selecting a lower back tattoo for an infant is easy. Finding someone willing to do the work is challenging. https://t.co/8IcMRo21fw
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) June 11, 2015
