With today's wearable gadgets, you can track your fitness, your sleep, and now, even your performance in the bedroom.
Online retailer British Condoms is accepting early-bird registrations for a sex wearable that's being marketed as a "the world's first smart condom." The iCon Smart Condom will retail for about $74 when it launches later this year.
It turns out the device is not a condom at all, but rather, a ring that fits over a boring, standard-issue condom and measures the quality of sex based on several metrics, including speed of thrusts, calories burned, and duration of session.
When we first heard about the so-called smart condom, we had lots of questions. What's it made of? Is it Bluetooth-connected? Does it play mood music? And at $74 a pop, is it reusable?
Well, based on what we know so far, the Fitbit of fornicating seems more like a gimmick than a useful tool.
The rig sits over a condom at the base of the penis shaft and uses "a nano-chip and sensors" to measure and record the specs of your lovemaking session. There are no photos of the device itself yet, so we have no idea how comfortable it is to wear for either partner.
Once the steam clears, the ring bearer can download the data to the i.Con app over a Bluetooth connection. Users have the option to share their metrics with friends or the public, so they can see how their bedroom-skills — and even girth — stacks up against i.Con users worldwide.
The British Condom website proudly declares, "The future of your sex life starts here." It's a definite stretch, considering the wearable makes no attempts to improve pleasure, prevent condom breakages and the passage of sexual diseases, or do anything that is useful.
A company statement says the device can detect sexually transmitted illnesses such as chlamydia and syphilis, but offers no information on how it does so.
In 2016, Swedish intimacy company LELO launched a condom that has a hexagonal pattern etched into the material. It makes it less likely to slip or tear, according to the company. The condom shattered its crowdfunding goal when it raised over $1 million from 30,000 backers through crowdfunding on Indiegogo and its website. It sells for $19.90 for a 12-pack.
The company behind the i.Con is waiting to launch pre-orders until it reaches a hard shipment date, but says it has received over 96,000 "pre-registrations" for the product. While a picture of the i.Con's box shows an Apple App Store logo, there was no sign of the app in the store at the time this was published. And considering Apple's strict and straight-laced standards for apps, it's unclear whether the smart condom app will ever get approved by Apple.
The so-called Smart Condom from i.Con got mixed reactions on Twitter.
2018 we jumping into DM's with Smart Condom stats.— Hayden (@ProudMoolie) March 3, 2017
Most people poked fun at the goofy device.
*use smart condom * COME ON YOU GOT 2000 STROKES LEFT TO HIT YOUR MONTHLY GOAL LESKKEDDIT DONT STOP!! pic.twitter.com/fjYiOO0xid— SAMUELITO (@SamCaminiti) March 2, 2017
Others offered their feedback for how the i.Con Smart Condom can be improved.
Smart Condom gotta come with programmable voices.— NUFF 💬 (@nuffsaidNY) March 2, 2017
"Slow down big fella, she gon' wear you out big fella. You not Usain Bolt big fella."
And this woman spoke her truth.
Women: We want access to affordable healthcare & birth control— Thistallawkwardgirl (@thistallawkgirl) March 3, 2017
Society: Here's a "smart condom" that tracks thrust speed and velocity pic.twitter.com/9afhQlHDUT
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