And it’s for reasons that many women could relate to.
The former NBC “Today” host, 48, told People in an exclusive interview for its June cover story that the thought of publicly announcing her pregnancy “terrified” her for multiple reasons.
“I was terrified I would lose this baby and I would have to go back and tell everyone that now it was bad news, and after this pregnancy had gone so far,” the broadcast journalist and TV host said.
She added: “I just wasn’t mentally prepared to deal with that. ... That’s why I waited. And trust me – if I could’ve gone the whole way to delivery, I would’ve.”
She explained her reasoning for this: “I was high-risk, not just because of my age, but there were other medical factors too.”
Hall also revealed that she looked into fertility treatments in her 30s, which failed, and had an “eye-opening” experience when she tried again in her 40s.
“I knew that the clock was not on my side,” Hall admitted, noting that seeing other women in the waiting room at the fertility clinic reminded her that she wasn’t alone, but that the realization made her more “sad” than “empowered.”
It seems like the past for few years for Hall have been an emotional rollercoaster. In early 2017 Hall and NBC announced her departure from “Today” after news broke that Megyn Kelly would be taking her time slot later that year. Although NBC would eventually cancel “Megyn Kelly Today” in October 2018 after her on-air defense of the use of blackface in Halloween costumes, Hall remembers the pain of losing her job.
She told People that she cried after she left the talk show due to “the reality of fear.”
Yet, Hall explained to the magazine that because she was no longer consumed by the competitive nature of job, she was able to find love with music executive Steven Greener, who she had known for years, but only began dating after she left NBC.
“The fear factor of ‘What’s going on with my spot? Am I going to keep this job?’ fell away, and I could really see Steven,” Hall said.
The couple got married but kept their relationship private — as well as her journey into motherhood.
Hall explained that although she had found love, trying to figure out where her career would go while trying to conceive was an incredibly frustrating experience. At the time, she said she felt “rejected” and was doing everything wrong, but “Somehow, like Rocky, I kept getting up.”
In September 2018, Hall and ABC Owned Television Stations Group announced a partnership to launch her own syndicated Disney talk show, which will premiere Sept. 9.
And in April, Hall announced the surprise birth of her son, Moses.
“Two and a half years ago when I walked out of that NBC building,” Hall recalled to People, “I was in a fog, not knowing that so many of us lose things we think are important, and we have no idea that something better is right there.”
This article originally appeared on HuffPost.