Taylor Swift is opening up about her personal life in ways fans have never seen before in her new Netflix documentary.
In Taylor Swift: Miss Americana, Swift spoke up for the first time about her struggle with an eating disorder. The "Lover" singer mentioned during the film that seeing photos of herself was a trigger to "just stop eating."
Swift went on to detail that experience saying she would "see a picture of me where I feel like I looked like my tummy was too big, or someone said that I looked pregnant" and that it would prompt her to "just starve a little bit."
She also says that her lengthy1989 tour, which she embarked on from May to December in 2015, was one of her most difficult points because each show took a heavy toll on her body.
"I thought that I was supposed to feel like I was going to pass out at the end of a show, or in the middle of it," she expressed. "Now I realize, no, if you eat food, have energy, get stronger, you can do all these shows and not feel [that way]."
In an interview with Variety about Miss Americana, Swift explained that she had initially been apprehensive about discussing her experiences over the course of the film, expressing that she didn't know if she'd feel "comfortable" talking about body image and her relationship with food. She was able to reconcile her concerns with the way director Lana Wilson handled the narrative, however.
"I’m not as articulate as I should be about this topic because there are so many people who could talk about it in a better way," she said. "But all I know is my own experience. And my relationship with food was exactly the same psychology that I applied to everything else in my life: If I was given a pat on the head, I registered that as good. If I was given a punishment, I registered that as bad."
Swift noted that she "doesn't care so much now" about her size, nor if someone comments on perceived weight gain. She's come to terms with being a "size 6 instead of a size 00," however, after dealing with the cycle of "good" and "punishments" over the years.
"I think I’ve never really wanted to talk about that before, and I’m pretty uncomfortable talking about it now," she said of her first real moment sharing this information with the world. "But in the context of every other thing that I was doing or not doing in my life, I think it makes sense."
According to ANAD, at least 30 million people in the USA struggle with eating disorders every year. While opening up is a personal struggle and something she did not have to do, its a powerful moment for her and her many fans who have already come to support her on Twitter.
Taylor Swift: Miss Americana is available to watch on Netflix right now.
If you or someone you know is struggling with an eating disorder, you can contact the NEDA Hotline at (800) 931-2237.