In the eyes of astrology, we’re living in a Mercurial world–aka Mercury, the planet of communication, rules everything around us. We’re constantly scrolling through Insta, writing emails, and sliding into our crush’s DMs (get yours, boo). That's why it’s more important than ever to understand the position of Mercury in your birth chart: It can literally unlock everything you need to know about how you communicate, and why you catastrophically clash over texting styles with the people you love sometimes.
With Mercury Retrograde happening right now, you should rip off the band aid and find out what your worst texting habit is based on the Mercury placement. That way, you can prevent a total communication meltdown (especially if you're hitting your ex up.)
Aries: Marathon Texting
As the first sign of the zodiac, you have a fiery, competitive streak that’s impossible to extinguish. While that’s great, you probably don’t need to send your crush 46 texts at 2AM.
Patience takes practice, so while you’re working on this skill, you may want to have a friend hold your phone. Literally. Back-to-back messages in ALL CAPS aren’t cute in the light of day. You’ll thank your bestie later no matter how painful it is now.
Taurus: Planning-Only Texts
Taurus, the first earth sign, is obsessed with physical manifestations of beauty and comfort. Y’all like nice things. So, in a Mercury placement, Taurus turns every conversation into material things–like plans to go to a $$$ bar or blasting invites to a show until one of your contacts says yes.
Text for a whole week without it being a means to a money-spending end. Ask your friends how they are, even if it feels a little stilted at first. There's so much more to life than just planning!
Gemini: Writing Emoji Sentences
Everyone loves sprinkling some emojis into their messages, but you, like, REALLY love them. You compose the majority of your texts in emojis and GIFs, and while this language is universal, people need to understand what you’re saying, hun.
Intersperse a few more written details in your texts so your friends can actually follow your thoughts. Maybe, just maybe, a few explanatory messages would actually improve your interpersonal dynamics. In other words: 🤦🙅📵📴
Cancer: Timestamp Police
Symbolized by the crab—the crustacean with the hard shell and soft interior—you try to protect your heart at all costs. This defensiveness can be a bit problematic, especially when it comes to texting. Rather than respond to messages as you receive them, you bust out a calculator to figure out how long they’ve been f*cking you over (in minutes *and* seconds). Ultimately, this leaves you feeling frustrated, disappointed, and totally distracted.
Drop the math and start messaging from the heart. You don’t need to play this petty game! Trust that your closest companions are always doing the best they can. Relationships can’t be measured in timestamps, babe!
Leo: Spewing Random Selfies
I know you have an incredible collection of selfies, but that doesn’t mean you should use them on every platform and in every message! The group chat doesn’t have to vote on your best OOTD pic every single day.
Have a convo without plugging your personal brand. Instead, ask your friends how *they’re* doing and feeling for once! Save your self-portraits for the ‘gram.
Virgo: Overthinking People’s Mistakes
Virgo is governed by Mercury, so this placement is known to be extremely organized, detail-oriented, and precise. Unfortunately, all other placements aren’t as meticulous with their texts, which leads to misunderstandings (and hellza judgment re: any misspellings) via text.
Don’t take everything so personally! Sloppy texts aren’t a reflection of lack of interest. Using the wrong “to” doesn’t mean your new boo doesn’t care; they’re just too distracted to notice.
Libra: Giving Vague Answers
Libra energy always wants to keep the peace, which is why your texting style is defined by your vague answers. Ranging from “k” to “cool” (and everything in between), your innate desire to be non-confrontational often leaves people scratching their heads, wondering WTF you actually mean.
Be direct with your communication from the beginning, babe. Speak your mind and say what you mean. No one will think you’re being difficult—in fact, they’ll actually appreciate your honesty. Believe it or not, your upfront responses will help you avoid conflict down the road.
Scorpio: Screenshotting Evidence
This placement loves to be a secret agent. In fact, Mercury in Scorpio’s texting buds may not realize that every message they send is being logged, documented, and stored as evidence.
Scale back on your screengrabbing. Not every message needs to be catalogued. But when you absolutely *need* to share a juicy DM with your besties, delete it immediately after you send it. Nothing is more incriminating than a phone riddled with screenshots.
Sagittarius: Making Zero Sense
Sagittarians are natural storytellers, but over text, they just don’t make sense. Whether you’re detailing the synopsis of a foreign film (that no one's watched) or sharing the minute-by-minute updates on your solo adventures (that no one knew you were taking), texting with a Sagittarius Mercury can be a bit… bizarre.
Texting is a give-and-take, so try having a dialog in which *both* texters are reading and responding. Ask your texting companion questions so that the conversation is equally distributed. And as far as the epic sagas go, well, that’s what journals are for.
Capricorn: Binding agreements
Capricorn energy means business, so when it comes to texting, every message is part of an unspoken contract (that can and will be used against you in a court of law.) With this placement, texting isn’t fun; it’s a formality.
Lighten up a bit! Take a page from Gemini’s book and pepper those dry, sterile messages with a few emojis every now and then. Who knows—once you throw in a couple of hearts or smiley faces, you may enjoy texting after all!
Aquarius: Refusing to Text
Your worst texting habit is, well, you don’t like to text. Either you disabled messaging on your phone because you’re certain the government is listening, or you’re in the process of building your own communication device with ~superior~ technology. The good news is that you’re always down for a long phone call.
Meet your friends halfway by at least G-chatting with them. After all, it is 2019! Your closest companions aren’t asking too much by trying to get in touch with you.
Pisces: Leaving Everyone on Read
Here’s the deal: You always has the best intentions. This dreamy water sign is all about exploring dreams, fantasies, and magical experiences—while literally forgetting to text back about meeting up until three weeks later.
Carve out 20 minutes in your day to respond to the dozens of messages you’ve accumulated while you were busy daydreaming. You don’t need to always be on your phone, but maybe you shouldn’t leave your closest companions on read! You’re a caring person, so make sure you exhibit this in text, as well!
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