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The Story of a New Taylor Swift App, as Told Through Taylor Swift Lyrics

·National Correspondent, Technology
image

Breakups are hard. (Photo: Via WSJ Live)

This week marks the premiere of Tay Text, a new iOS keyboard app that lets you communicate solely in Taylor Swift lyrics.

The app, which was created by five self-described Harvard Business School Swifties, works like most other third-party keyboards: You download it, tab through your keyboard globe symbol until it appears, and choose a line from its 300-lyric database to send to your friends / lovers / ex-lovers. The phrasing is helpfully divided into such relationship phases as “Into You,” “Over You,” “It’s Over,” “Missing You,” “Haters,” and “Trouble.”

Below, the semifictional tale of how the Swiftie quintet’s app came to be, as told by the breakup queen herself (with a major assist from the Tay Text keyboard):

Part I: The brainstorming

I’m in the room, it’s a typical Tuesday night

How can I ever try to be better?

Don’t you dream impossible things?

You’re really gonna be someone, ask anyone

I realize some bigger dreams of mine

Feeling lucky today, got the sunshine

Hey, isn’t this easy?

Part II: Getting funding

I go on too many dates, but I can’t make them stay

I get so confused and frustrated, I forget what I’m trying to say

I could show you incredible things

It’s been waiting for you

Why can’t you see you belong with me?

We fall in love ’til it hurts or bleeds or fades with time

We’re a crooked love in a straight line down

Part III: The pivot

Something happens when everybody finds out

All I know since yesterday is everything has changed

All I feel in my stomach is butterflies, the beautiful kind, making up for lost time

Are we out of the woods yet?

Are we in the clear?

Part IV: Inevitably being sued by Taylor Swift, who has trademarked her lyrics and been known to go after Swiftie Etsy dealers who put her lyrics on their merchandise.

I realize you love yourself more than you could ever love me

Did I say something way too honest?

As far as I’m concerned, you’re just another picture to burn

Here’s to everything coming down to nothing

I’m just sitting here, planning my revenge

My daddy’s gonna show you how sorry you’ll be

***

That concludes our poetic rendition of this hopeless business venture. Get the doomed thing while you can here.

Update: It appears the app has already been pulled from the iTunes store. We’ve reached out for comment from the Tay Tex founders, but something tells us T. Swift’s band of lawyers are all over this. Swift lyrics really *do* come true.

Follow Alyssa Bereznak on Twitter or email her here.