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Tony Robbins- How to Be Fulfilled (Just Ask Yourself These 2 Questions)

James Altucher

Originally published by James Altucher on LinkedIn: Tony Robbins- How to Be Fulfilled (Just Ask Yourself These 2 Questions)

Tony Robbins stopped by on his birthday. And then he started causing problems. Like he does.

“I realize you’re high energy,” the audio engineer says, looking at Tony, “but when you bang the table it sounds like the whole room is shaking.”

In 220 podcasts, it’s the first time the audio engineer had to interrupt in the middle.

“Oh, ok, no problem,” Tony says.

“I don’t want to stop the passion,” the audio engineer says.

“Don’t worry, I’ll be good,” Tony says.

Then the audio engineer went back outside.

Tony kept slamming that table. Outside the room, people thought he was going to climb over the table and beat the S**t out of me. But it was all good.

BUT…

I felt like I had to keep the energy level high. So pretty soon we were both yelling back and forth.

He was there because of his new book, “Unshakeable.” But we spoke about maybe 1000 topics. Not just the financial world.

So let’s get right down to it. What did I learn?

– EVERY YEAR (on average) THE STOCK MARKET WILL FALL 10%

This is great for newspapers. They say, “The world is ending!” and they say it EVERY SINGLE YEAR.

And yet it never does. It never did. Even in 2008. The world did not end. The market is at all time highs right now.

The key with Tony’s book is he shows these statistics not so you can make money off of them but so you DON’T PANIC.

Markets move. Ignore the news.

– BRING IT

Before the podcast I said to Tony, “let’s do a fun outtake.” I wasn’t sure he’d say “yes.” We videotaped it (it’s on my Instagram).

He BRINGS IT. It’s so much energy I almost had to stutter out my planned line (“I can’t see your face on Skype, only your chest”).

And when we did the podcast, I felt like I had to yell and really UP my own energy level at least three levels higher just to keep pace with him. I don’t know how he does it.

SO….!

I asked. How do you do it? I want that energy also.

Please?

– DON’T ASK HOW, INSTEAD ASK ‘WHY!?’

He finally said, “Enough with the ‘how-to’. Don’t ask ‘how-to’ questions.”

He said, “Ask What and Why?” What is the Result. Why is your purpose.

“Why are you getting out of bed in the morning? And what are you going to do about it?

“Motive matters and brings energy.”

He said, “I love lighting people up.” That, he said, gives me the energy.

When I later found out his schedule, not only was he booked every hour that day with different news sources (he started the day by ringing the bell at the Nasdaq) but IT WAS HIS BIRTHDAY.

He brings it.

– TRADE YOUR EXPECTATIONS FOR APPRECIATIONS

This is critical for well-being. Don’t expect the world to provide you with happiness.

Every time you find yourself slipping into an expectation, change it in your head into an “appreciation.” Find the things you appreciate. Then take ACTION.

“It’s like a practice,” I said.

He banged the table.

“Exactly!”

– MODELING

I said, “How do you learn new things?”

He said, “Modeling.”

I said, “Well, I imagine you look great walking down a runway at a fashion show but seriously.”

He laughed and said, “Look, when I went to write the Money book and then my new book, Unshakeable, I didn’t just sit around reading the paper.

“I went out with a video crew and interviewed 50 billionaires about how they invest.

“I watch what they do. I study how they think. And I see if I can break it down into chunks so that anyone can follow their process.”

In my last podcast with Tony, two years ago, he described how he learned how expert Marines improve their firing skills even though he had never fired gun before. He described almost the same process then.

For me, I know this works. When I want to write, I always read first.

When I want to do public speaking, I watch standup comedians (and singers) first. I want to figure out how the best people in the world do something so I can do it 1/100 as good at the very least.

When I need energy now, I picture Tony Robbins smashing the table and the audio engineer begging me to slow it down.

Well too bad!

– SURRENDER TO WHAT YOU CAN’T CONTROL

“If your happiness requires other people to behave the way you want them to behave, then what are the chances you’re going to stay happy in your life?”

“You’d have to limit yourself to a small number of humans… who you can control, which is not love.”

– DON’T WAIT FOR FREEDOM 

Learn how to deal with stress. That’s the path to freedom. Not the other way around

He gives many techniques. One of them is to learn to appreciate the things around you. But more than that, he says.

Take, “Massive Action.” Show people you appreciate them. Take steps forward in a career. Feed your mind. Help someone. Cultivate great thoughts. Strengthen your body. Participate. “You activate your body’s chemistry.”

“Doing nothing, you learn nothing.”

How do you do this?

Again, “How brings in fear”. You have to have an emotional purpose. Something more than yourself. Purpose is “why?”

Find a role model so that you realize that what you want is attainable for you.

– DON’T NEGOTIATE WITH YOUR MIND

He said to me, “what are the two things you are most worried about in life?”

No problem. I didn’t hesitate. “I constantly worry about going broke and that someone will cheat on me.”

He leaned forward.

“EVERYBODY IS WORRIED ABOUT THOSE TWO THINGS!” he said. “That’s not your worries. That’s the mind’s worries. It’s in everyone’s mind.”

Don’t bother negotiating with your mind. It’s there to protect you but it’s used to the jungle from 50,000 years ago.

Find things that are bigger than just you. Make those things your purpose. Your reason for living. They can change. But they will be the things that take you to freedom.

Not your mind.

And, he said, when I am afraid to do something, that’s when I do it!

– LIFE IS TOO SHORT TO SUFFER

“I had mercury poisoning this past year. I also had a problem with my back that could have been critical.

“But I did a ton of research. I spoke to many doctors and other people with similar problems. I worked on my own issues and did not let them bring me down.”

“I am responsible to choose my own happiness,” he said.

I think I’m paraphrasing. We spoke about so many things I can’t remember everything.

Sometimes when I prepare a podcast, I read so many books, watch so many interviews, jot down so many notes, and get so much nervous energy ready that I feel like it burns like a bright hot light for the entire podcast and then dims once it’s over.

– IT IS REALLY REALLY HARD TO INTERRUPT TONY ROBBINS! 

Man, it is hard. It’s like trying to stop a tank. I think my “interruption skills” greatly improved during this one hour. I simply couldn’t do it at first.

But finally I had to do it. He said, “And then President Clinton called me and…”

I had to yell, “STOP!”

“Will you finally tell me why the hell Presidents call you?”

And he answered.

After Tony left I had to go catch an airplane. About six hours later I finally felt like I was starting to calm down.

At the airport I ran into someone on Tony’s team. She said, Tony really enjoyed the podcast.

I don’t know if she says that to everyone. But I was happy.

I know I enjoyed it. I know I learned a lot. I know it got me to start thinking again about why I get up in the morning, about what emotional purposeI want to have greater than myself.

It changes every day. But it’s there. It has to be.

Today it was: Write this post.

Oh, and run for Governor. But more on that later.

James Altucher is the author of the bestselling book Choose Yourself, editor at The Altucher Report and host of the popular podcast, The James Altucher Show, which takes you beyond business and entrepreneurship by exploring what it means to be human and achieve well-being in a world that is increasingly complicated.