Jose Mourinho's Manchester United slump to defeat in Valencia with typically wet and woolly display
The strangest thing about Manchester United’s foray into Europe this season is that second place in Group H actually flatters them but they could and should have finished first. Then again, their inability to take advantage of a completely unexpected victory for Young Boys over Juventus served only to underline the stark limitations of Jose Mourinho’s increasingly insufferable side.
“Maybe you did but not me. I didn’t learn anything from this game, nothing that happened surprised me at all. No, no, no,” the United manager said grimly afterwards, wearing the look of a man who has finally reached the end of his tether with so many of these players. In other words, Mourinho was fully prepared for his team to roll over against Valencia. Yes, it has got that bad.
With Juventus losing against all odds in Bern, a win would have sent United through as group winners but that never looked even vaguely feasible on a night when they were outclassed by the team currently 15th in La Liga and the best they can hope for in Monday’s round of 16 draw is a pairing with Porto.
Otherwise, it will be one of Barcelona, Real Madrid, Paris St-Germain, Bayern Munich and Borussia Dortmund and heaven knows what that lot might do to this rabble.
“Before the game I said to the players if we win tonight and Juve win we did our job, if we don’t win and Juve doesn’t win, we can blame ourselves,” Mourinho said.
This was supposed to be an opportunity for fringe players, and Paul Pogba, to press their case to Mourinho ahead of Sunday’s trip to Liverpool but the only thing the majority succeeded in doing was convincing their manager they are not good enough. A moment of pure slapstick defending from Phil Jones early in the second half gifted Valencia a second goal after Carlos Soler put them in front after just 17 minutes and summed up a wretched night.
The only players who showed anything were the three Mourinho reluctantly summoned from the substitutes’ bench – Jesse Lingard, Marcus Rashford and Ashley Young – and it was Young who crossed for Rashford to head home three minutes from time. That trio will start at Anfield. “It’s for you to work out who the other eight will be,” Mourinho said.
Marcos Rojo was routinely exposed on the left by Valencia’s maraudering right back, Cristiano Piccini, before finally being put out of his misery at half-time.
Antonio Valencia was fortunate not to be sent off after just 10 minutes when he careered through Lato with no ball in sight. Fred? He lasted just 57 minutes before making way for Rashford and you had to wonder when we will next see him.
Pogba? He flunked his audition, shooting wide from just a few yards out when Marouane Fellaini had steered the ball into his path from Andreas Pereira’s corner and cut a cowed figure for much of the evening. That intensity against Arsenal and interplay against Fulham minus Pogba, none of it was evident here with him back in the team.
And then there was Jones, who looked like an accident waiting to happen long before his comic own goal. Has anyone ever told the England defender about the merits of staying on his feet and not clattering into opponents? If they have, at 26, he has still to read the memo.
For the 10th time in 15 outings, United found themselves behind in a game and facing a predictable uphill slog. Rojo was done by a one-two involving Piccini and Santi Mina, whose cross was cleared by Jones only as far as Soler and the Valencia midfielder drilled a stylish shot with the outside of his right boot low into the far corner. Michy Batshuayi should have added a second but it was not much longer before Jones obliged.
Soler’s through-ball should have been dealt with comfortably but Jones got himself caught in two minds as Sergio Romero rushed out of goal and, with Batshuayi bearing down, the England defender slid to the ground and arrowed the ball past his goalkeeper. A shambles. United have now trailed 2-0 in 30 per cent of their matches this term. How exasperating is that for a manager? “What do you think is my answer,” Mourinho said. “That it drives you mad,” came the reply. “So you know my answer”.
Liverpool must be licking their lips. And plenty of those in pot one hoping they draw United.
Full time: Valencia 2 Man United 1
United couldn't get much going in the three minutes of added time, and this wretched performance comes to an end. James Ducker's match report is coming up right now.
Jose: "We go into every match with the intention of winning. Sometimes we do it, sometimes we don’t.” Stirring.
89 mins: Valencia 2 Man United 1
Clever dinked ball through, Mata has a chance to spin and hit the volley bit cannot make a proper contact.
88 mins: Valencia 2 Man United 1
United are committing men forward, meaning that they now get caught out. Michy has the ball, he has time and he has runners, but he delays too long and then tries to bend it into the goal. Way off.
87 mins: Valencia 2 Man United 1
Suddenly United are at it. Full backs charging forward. Periera picks out Marouane in the box but the big man has fouled his marker.
GOAL! Valencia 2 Man United 1 (Rashford 86)
A lovely pacy, incisive move from United. Played forward. Lingardd does well to keep it in, pulls it back from the byline for Young, he centres it and Rashford applies a crisp finish!
81 mins: Valencia 2 Man United 0
This is rank, and it should end. A pointless dead rubber, an apathetic performance, a waste of time and effort.
Rashford fouls Vezo and is booked.
Paul Pogba, or somebody dressed as him anyway, moves forward as if through treacle and donks a shot goalwards. He was lifting the World Cup six months ago!
79 mins: Valencia 2 Man United 0
Pogba gets it 25 yards out. Nobody is running for him, nobody is making any movement ahead. He has to try to take on four, and manages to at least hit the target with a shot.
Juventus have one back against the Young Boys.
74 mins: Valencia 2 Man United 0
Valencia clotheslines an opponent and is lucky not to get that second yellow.
73 mins: Valencia 2 Man United 0
Pereira has the confidence to have a crack. Forces a good save.
Obviously, United have Liverpool at the weekend, so you would not expect them to be 100% on this, but this is not good enough.
71 mins: Valencia 2 Man United 0
Couple more changes. The impressive Santi Mina off. The unimpressive Romelu Lukaku off.
Rodrigo and Lingard are the men who come on.
70 mins: Valencia 2 Man United 0
Young Boys have made it 2-0 against Juventus!
It’s 4-4 in the eternal battle for the soul of Phil Jones https://t.co/vNOuk7fTyw
— Sam Wallace (@SamWallaceTel) December 12, 2018
67 mins: Valencia 2 Man United 0
Torres, a lad of just 18, looks up and cracks one. Over the bar from outside the box.
65 mins: Valencia 2 Man United 0
Fellaini has put a hurting on Mina.
Cheryshev is coming off. Torres is on (not that Torres).
63 mins: Valencia 2 Man United 0
Rashford has brightened the place up a bit, Jose's magic clearly hasn't quite got fully to work on him yet, and he nearly slides the ball through for Pereira.
61 mins: Valencia 2 Man United 0
Soler, who has been excellent, tries a deep cross for Michy B. He's up for the header but Bailly does enough.
57 mins: Valencia 2 Man United 0
Rashford, bless him, is coming on. His first order of business is to participate in a corner. Fred, awful, comes off.
Either Fred was a mistake or he fits a pattern of players being demoralised and regressing at Man Utd.
— Paul Hayward (@_PaulHayward) December 12, 2018
Bailly has a chance from the corner but it's technically very hard. Row Z.
52 mins: Valencia 2 Man United 0
I dunno if it's just because the news desk have got the Tory stuff on and it's infecting, but this from United is so wretched, so lacking in gumption, so wasteful, so self-defeating. Utterly rancid performance from a shower of individuals led by a leader they palpably cannot stand.
Carved open yet again down their left flank, the ball played across, Bailly has a chance for a simple clearance but just widdles the clearance back to an opponent.
Get this lot off my telly.
Meanwhile, Garay is on for Lato.
50 mins: Valencia 2 Man United 0
According to the BT commentary, Valencia were booed off in their last home game. They are 15th in La Liga...
GOAL! Valencia 2 Man United 0 (Jones 47 og)
This is a Tory party style fiasco now from Jose's mob. What a rabble. Simple ball played down the middle, by Soler, Batshuayi galloping gamely after ie
Phil Jones races back, Romero races out, neither one knows what the other one is doing.
Jones slots it past his own keeper with aplomb. Classic Jones.
That was so Phil Jones that I can already picture the gurn on tomorrow’s back pages.
— Darren Richman (@darrenrichman) December 12, 2018
46 mins: Valencia 1 Man United 0
Juan Mata, blameless as ever, tries to get something going with a sharp run but it's stopped by multiple Valencia bodies. Nobody else gave them much hope.
Ashley Young comes on
at left back, where Rojo had, frankly, been a liability. He gets the hook.
Theresa May has survived her
no confidence vote. United, on the other hand....
Paul Pogba made an appalling miss
but somehow
Lucky for him that the lino thought he was off. He was not.
A lot of United's
problems came down their left flank, where Rojo is playing (he's usually a right back).
Juventus are losing
against Young Boys. That would be an additional irritant, if United have been handed a chance to win the group and blow it...
Half time: Valencia 1 Man United 0
United, who have not had a shot on target, have been slow, sluggish and generally wet. Second to the ball, sloppy when they have it, lumpen and generally pretty rotten. Valencia have played some okay football, while hardly world-beating, and United are just fortunate that Batshuayi, especially, has been wasteful.
45 mins: Valencia 1 Man United 0
Soler and Santi Mina are tormenting United in the box, shifting the ball trying, and not quite succeeding in finding space for the shot. The referee blows for half time.
43 mins: Valencia 1 Man United 0
Poor Michy. And indeed poor CF Valencia: if they had a proper striker, they'd be enjoying a pina colada at half time. Denis Cheryshev gets down the left, he feeds it to a colleague (Kondogbia?) who sends it through to Michy B. He shoots wide, and runs into Marcos Rojo in the process, making a forceful attack on the Argentine's shoulder with, er, his chin. That knocks Michy to the ground, and a grown-up has to come on and check he's all okay.
39 mins: Valencia 1 Man United 0
Fred runs down the right, tries to take on his man, lollipop, then dives on the floor in the penalty area.
38 mins: Valencia 1 Man United 0
Nothing about Batshuayi's performance so far will have Chelsea desperate to get him back...
But Mina is a threat. He's managed to play it in, and it's all hands to the pump for United as they try to get bodies in the way of Parejo's shot.
Corner. Dealt with.
36 mins: Valencia 1 Man United 0
Fellaini gets up well for a header, and here's Pogba with a chance to poke the ball in from point blank. He misses. And is probably relieved to see that the lino had flagged for offside. Wrongly, as I understand it.
33 mins: Valencia 1 Man United 0
United are second to every ball. They look limp and lazy. They switch off here and give away a corner needlessly. They then fail to clear that, and the ball is very close to sneaking in from a scramble.
31 mins: Valencia 1 Man United 0
Huge let off for United! Valencia carve them open at will, a simple direct move down the right, the cross comes in, and here's Batshuayi. He's got a clean run at the header but... he fluffs the chance and heads it over. That is as good an opportunity as you could ask for at this level.
29 mins: Valencia 1 Man United 0
The ball is humped into the Valencia area from the freekick. Bailly jumps and elbows the goalie in the back, sly and nasty, and he is booked.
Young Boys have taken the lead against Juventus!
28 mins: Valencia 1 Man United 0
Signs of life for United, who look a bit brighter. Lato fouls Antonio Valencia, his earlier assailant, and gets a yellow.
27 mins: Valencia 1 Man United 0
Lukaku tries an overhead kick, ref blows foul as Romelu nearly clonks Kondogbia in the noggin.
26 mins: Valencia 1 Man United 0
Mata! He pounces on a misplaced defensive header and manages to hit a snap shot at goal. Behind. Suggestion of a handball against Diakhaby.
Corner is wretched.
25 mins: Valencia 1 Man United 0
Valencia have not exactly set the world alight but have been responsible for all the decent stuff so far. United have not turned up. Very limp, very unambitious.
On the upside, City are also losing...
22 mins: Valencia 1 Man United 0
Fred is getting the ball to distribute but Lukaku is isolated: United are not getting runners up alongside him. Antonio Valencia, for instance, is well back.
GOAL! Valencia 1 Man United 0 (Carlos Soler 17)
Lovely finish. That's a really fine shot. Cross from the right from Mina, it is headed out by Jones, but straight to Carlos Soler.
He takes his time and picks his spot in the far corner. Drills it hard and low, through the crowd, perfectly placed in the corner and that gives the goalie no chance. Excellent strike, and just reward for their dominance.
14 mins: Valencia 0 Man United 0
Pogba and Fred link up quite well, but the ball won't drop in the area. Lato, the left back, is still getting treatment.
11 mins: Valencia 0 Man United 0
Antonio Valencia goes in hard on Lato and the player is writhing in agony, the effects mikes picking up the poor guy literally howling in pain! Blimey. Antonio Valencia lucky to get a yellow. Wild, reckless, dangerous
8 mins: Valencia 0 Man United 0
Santi Mina tries to find Batshuayi at the far post but cannot get the delivery.
5 mins: Valencia 0 Man United 0
Cheryshev looking really dangerous, a surge into the area and it takes a combo of a Romero save and a Phil Jones booted intervention to deny him.
Rojo, a weak link in my opinion, is at left back. But he finds himself centrally defending now, as he and Jones double up to prevent Kondogbia.
All Valencia in the opening exchanges.
3 mins: Valencia 0 Man United 0
Pereira, sloppy in midfield, gives it away and the Russian World Cup hero Cheryshev breaks forward excitingly. Denied.
2 mins: Valencia 0 Man United 0
Lukaku putting himself about, nearly wins it off Diakhaby.
1 mins: Valencia 0 Man United 0
United are in their red and black, looking quite swish, but it's Valencia who are making the early running here.
Coin toss
There's Valencia, the captain, shaking hands with the captain of Valencia.
Valencia: Jaume, Piccini, Ruben Vezo, Diakhaby, Toni Lato, Carlos Soler, Parejo, Kondogbia, Cheryshev, Batshuayi, Santi Mina. Subs: Neto, Coquelin, Wass, Rodrigo, Torres, Garay, Lee.
Man Utd: Romero, Valencia, Jones, Bailly, Rojo, Andreas Pereira, Fellaini, Pogba, Fred, Mata, Lukaku. Subs: Grant, Rashford, Lingard, Young, Ander Herrera, Garner, Greenwood.
Referee: Georgi Kabakov (Bulgaria)
Players in the tunnel
Michael Owen says it's a cold, old concrete stadium but it has a great atmos.
Jose Mourinho
"I don't believe that Juventus does not win, but I have to. The players who are playing need to play, for themselves and for the team.
"Marouane, normally he is waiting for a cup match, so he has a chance. Paul, Lukaku get their confidence levels back."
Man United line up
Valencia possible formation
'The atmosphere is always crackling here'
says Paul Dempsey, his flat voice echoing around as he delivers his bit in front of a deserted stand. Sure Paul. Sure.
Reader Shane O'Leary writes
"Jose, The Lion In Winter, obvious innit. Especially the return of Le Pog, gotta be a riff on "I want Poetry and Power and the young men who create it". Here's to a good game, look sharp."
Prince Paul
Intriguing to see how Pogba goes tonight. Our Manchester man, James Ducker, wrote this week: "Pogba, by contrast, has entered into a tailspin, to the point where his confidence has plummeted and, when he is not overcomplicating things in midfield, he is making the sort of elementary mistakes a player of his technical ability and talent should not. He looks lost"
Paul Pogba has gone into a tailspin at Manchester United - and only he can get himself out of it
And here is a bit more on the player, the manager, their relationship and what it means for the team.
Changes
That's eight for United compared to the line-up they had at the weekend.
Romero, Valencia, Bailly, Rojo, Fellaini, Andreas, Fred and Pogba come in.
Here are the Valencia boys
Starting XI #VCFMUFCpic.twitter.com/eVrKW6fhZt
— Valencia CF English ���� (@valenciacf_en) December 12, 2018
Team news: Paul Pogba in
Here's the #MUFC side for tonight's #UCL outing... pic.twitter.com/kLTZQjQWVj
— Manchester United (@ManUtd) December 12, 2018
Good evening
The vote of no confidence in Jose Mourinho's leadership at Manchester United may come next week, next month, or next year. But it will not come tonight, no matter how dispiriting the formerly great manager's tenure at Old Trafford has become. Whatever happens, Manchester United are through the last 16 of the Champions League, not exactly cause for joy unconfined, but a solid enough achievement in and off itself.
United go into this match with ten points from five games, Juventus have 12. Tonight's opponents Valencia are next best on just five points, so the Group H qualification picture has already been painted. The only thing still to settle is who will top the group. I suppose United might hope to win here and bank on a favour from Young Boys in the other match (although, given that the amusingly named Swiss outfit have just one point from five matches, you feel that Juventus are hot favourites to go through in first place. What difference that makes in the last 16 only time will tell.
More important for United is a performance, a chance to play with the handbrake off, a chance for the likes of Paul Pogba to get back in their manager's graces. Mourinho says of his brilliant misfit Frenchman, who has been riding the bench for the last two matches: "I'm looking for him to play well and to have a good impact in the game and a good impact in the team - a team with many players that don't have many miles on their legs."
Sounds like he is throwing down the gauntlet. Team news coming up, kick off will be at 8pm UK time.
Our other live blog tonight is of Manchester City vs Hoffenheim. Like this match, that is a dead rubber: all four of England's representatives are through to Wednesday's draw, with Spurs now racing to finish their stadium and Liverpool just offering up a little prayer to Alisson!
