Why is everyone on Twitter talking about towels?
Good morning, everyone. Apparently we're mad about towels.
Scrolling through Twitter on Monday, you might have seen a feed full of people arguing over the amount of towels you're supposed to own. The Great Towel Debate started when Twitter user @Advil asked followers to settle an argument between him and his girlfriend.
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"We have zero frame of reference on the appropriate amount of towels in a household of two," he tweeted.
hello fellow adults. my gf and i have a question... what is the correct amount of towels to own? i said 10 and she looked at me like i was crazy. we have zero frame of reference on the appropriate amount of towels in a household of two.
— abdul (@Advil) February 17, 2019
People understandably had hot takes, but the hottest of them all was from Huffington Post writer Yashar Ali, who claimed that couples should "own a minimum" of 50 total towels. 50! Where do you even store that many towels?
Ali added that couples should own "preferably more."
As a couple you should own a minimum of the following
10 Bath Sheets
10 Bath Towels
10 Hand Towels
20 Wash Cloths
Preferably more https://t.co/CWqd8kp5vJ— Yashar Ali 🐘 (@yashar) February 18, 2019
He also clarified the difference between a bath sheet and a bath towel, which rightfully blew people's minds.
2. For those asking what a bath sheet is, here’s a handy chart.
cc: @Advil @jbillinson pic.twitter.com/p2oYTD0bGI— Yashar Ali 🐘 (@yashar) February 18, 2019
It was only a matter of time before people starting passive aggressively tweeting about towels.
owning a lot of towels is for:
1) very rich people
2) parents, but only after you leave home and yet all the towels are 15 years old and torn somehow— libby watson (@libbycwatson) February 18, 2019
Y’all wilding on not having hand towels though I buy in bulk from Amazon because I feel like they ruin easily and I like cleaning my face with fresh towels
— Ira (@ira) February 18, 2019
Just checked Amazon. They’re out of towels. All the towels are gone. Hope y’all got your towels in a safe place. Hold your towels tight
— elan gale (@theyearofelan) February 18, 2019
Heard y’all were talking about towels pic.twitter.com/eUNW7hd462
— Xeni Jardin (@xeni) February 18, 2019
I have like 17 kitchen towels, I’m not stepping into the towel discourse
— Amanda Mull (@amandamull) February 18, 2019
So the answer seems to be: a bath sheet is a beach towel for people who can trace their lineage directly to Queen Margarethe of Denmark
— Seth Mandel (@SethAMandel) February 18, 2019
You should have at least 3 bath towels per person to cycle through in a given week. Each person should have an Italy towel. The kitchen should have at least 5 towels for surfaces and a bucket under the sink filled with an unspecified number of floor rags.
— salt, fat, acid, yeet (@hermit_hwarang) February 18, 2019
The true cost of towel-ownership is the space it takes up, not the price of the towels, so the appropriate amount to own is a function of local housing costs.
— Matthew Yglesias (@mattyglesias) February 18, 2019
Even the dictionary weighed in.
Bath sheet: An extra-large bath towel.
Bath towel: Thing your tall friends never “borrow” from hotels. https://t.co/To6mdli1bZ— Dictionary.com (@Dictionarycom) February 18, 2019
And searches for "bath sheet" spiked on Google.
Congrats @yashar pic.twitter.com/5LLfuPqueW
— Christopher Ingraham (@_cingraham) February 18, 2019
"As a couple, you should own a minimum of ..." became a brief meme.
As a couple you should own a minimum of the following:
1 Sativa cartridge
1 Indica cartridge
1 CBD dominant cartridge
1 Bag of high potency edibles
1 Bag of 10mg edibles
1 Bag of low potency 1:1 edibles
2 batteries— Bryan (@MurderBryan) February 18, 2019
As a couple you should own a minimum of the following:
- 1 bed carved from an olive tree
- 1 bow that symbolizes kingship and virility
- 12 axe heads
- 1 funeral shroud, routinely unraveled by night
- multiple eagles that portend a coming disaster
- a dog— SparkNotes (@SparkNotes) February 18, 2019
As a couple you should own a minimum of the following:
One: the cow as white as milk
Two: the cape as red as blood
Three: the hair as yellow as corn
Four: the slipper as pure as gold
Five: 12 bath towels you have stolen from various gyms— R. Eric Thomas (@oureric) February 18, 2019
As a couple you should also own:
12 12's
58 58's, weed bags, ziplocks
Big rocks, coke spots, two Glocks, one ox
Crumbs chopped, hot pots, one plate, crack Spot— b-boy bouiebaisse (@jbouie) February 18, 2019
All grown couples should have
12 Shower towels
16 Tea towels
8 Guest towels
1 Mystery towel
19 Wash linens
10 Hand towels
9 Hand towels (other hand)
16 Yōkai towels
3 Red— Italian Alex Pareene (@pareene) February 18, 2019
Looks like everyone has an opinion on towels.
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