The Onion
New iPhone Geared Towards College-Aged Girls Comes With Pre-Shattered Screen
Created for young women, Apple's new iPhone includes an innovative spiderweb-cracked screen.
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Yankees pitcher Fritz Peterson, infamous for trading wives with a teammate, dies at 82
Former New York Yankees left-hander Fritz Peterson died at the age of 82. He is probably best known exchanging wives with teammate Mike Kekich in the 1970s.
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Boban Marjanović hilariously misses free throws on purpose to give Clippers fans free chicken
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Robert Kraft reportedly warned Falcons owner Arthur Blank not to trust Bill Belichick during head coach interviews
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UFC 300: 'We're probably gonna get sued' after Arman Tsarukyan appeared to punch fan during walkout
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Rob Gronkowski's first pitch before the Red Sox's Patriots' Day game was typical Gronk
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Nike responds to backlash over Team USA track kits, notes athletes can wear shorts
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2024 Masters payouts: How much did Scottie Scheffler earn for his win at Augusta National?
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Trump Media stock jumps for second day as company goes to battle with short sellers
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MLB Power Rankings: Braves, Yankees surge to the top, followed by Dodgers, Orioles, Brewers
Let's identify one player exceeding expectations for each team through the first few weeks of 2024.