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John Oliver’s brutally honest Facebook ad

On Last Week Tonight, John Oliver discussed Facebook’s $119 billion loss last Thursday, when the tech company’s stocks plummeted 19%.

Facebook has been struggling with their reputation ever since the infamous data breach, which affected up to 87 million users. Following the scandal, the tech company aired an apology ad, which Oliver believes to be more obligatory than genuine. “F*** you. Facebook was doing literally exactly what it was built for. That's why it was worth $600 billion. You didn't build history's most profitable data-harvesting machine by accident,” stated Oliver, who also criticized Facebook for using the disaster in Puerto Rico as “a backdrop to promote their virtual reality tools.” So, Oliver decided to be the friend that Facebook needs right now and produced what he thinks the ad should have been.

The brutally honest ad mirrored the one that Facebook aired, but instead started with, “You came here for the friends. You got to know the friends of your friends. We came here for your data and the data of everyone you have ever come into contact with.” However, the ad really got real when it stated, “And your data enabled us to make a f*** ton of ad money from corporations, app developers and political campaigns. Then, we discovered your uncle used to have ties to the Klan. And guess what? We realized we could make a f*** ton of money off that sh** too. Seriously guys, we were making so much money off of you, you don't even understand.”

The fake ad also admitted that, even though the company lost nearly $120 billion, nothing is going to change. “But then, you found out about it, and we had to testify and issue bullsh** apology ads. All so we could lose $120 billion. But here's the thing. Nothing's really going to change. We've got your data. We've got your friends. And, really, where are you going to go?” And even though the ad ended with “Facebook. We own who you are,” you gotta admit that you sort of respect the brutal honesty.