"Teen Mom OG" Recap: Catelynn and Tyler Clash With Carly's Adoptive Mom Yet Again
Another week, another important life lesson courtesy of the cast of Teen Mom. This week, it’s about colonoscopies. That’s right, friend reading this, Farrah’s big arc this episode - aside from hugging her mom to show they’re still chill - was that she needed a camera up her butt. Elsewhere, Catelynn struggled with the fact that Teresa (who adopted Carly) didn’t want the show involved in their lives anymore, Matt took Amber on a redemption tour of Massachusetts (real proud I spelled that correctly the first time), and Maci continued to be pregnant and not much else. Why no drama, Maci? Do you want to be on this show next season or what?
All right, deep breaths. Deeeeeep breaths. Here’s everything else that happened this week.
Maci
This week, Maci asked the world’s most important question: Can you overdose on soap? And considering that the rest of her storyline was so painfully Maci (read: normal, stable, boring), I actually went out and decided to get that question answered for everyone watching.
According to Georgia Poison Control’s Jill M. (BSN, RN, CSPI), eating soap is a very age-appropriate activity for children and unlikely to cause any long-term issues. Of course, if the child is “experiencing vomiting or diarrhea,” then they should be evaluated immediately, but that kind of reaction is uncommon.
“When I was a kid, I ate half a bar of soap and I am OK. Is that normal or am I a superhero?” I asked Jill.
“I would have to do the research on that and get back to you,” she replied. Which means there’s a chance! Maci, if you’re reading this, get Jayde tested for mutant powers immediately!
In other news, Maci discovered that she’s having a boy and then everyone made dick jokes for a while, because, you know, not much else was going on. Maci’s going to quit her job, but no one’s really worried about her. You know who everyone is worried about? Ryan. He didn’t appear in this week’s episode, but his parents had a heart-to-heart about how concerned they are that he’ll never find the love of his life. It was pretty sweet, actually, but since Ryan is mostly a terrible person, none of us are feeling that bad for him, am I right?
Farrah
Last night, we learned two things: One, Debra’s ass has exploded before (she casually let America know this while she was trying to get Farrah to eat some Jell-O in preparation for a colonoscopy). Two, “have fun” is now an appropriate way to respond to someone telling you they’re going to visit a deceased loved one at a cemetery. I don’t know what Debra is smoking (Her eyelashes from last season?), but I want some of it and I want some of it now. (Also, not to take away from whatever else is going on, but Farrah’s hair is looking a-m-a-z-i-n-g.)
After Farrah and Debra argued over whether she really needed to eat Jell-O to keep her butt in check, Farrah took Sophia to visit Derek’s (Sophia’s father) grave and decorate it for Easter. Then, Farrah met with Derek’s family for a while and talked about everything that had changed in her life (not much, TBH). It was a much more subdued visit than the one we saw last season - remember Sophia screaming “I want to die?” - and it appeared really healing to Sophia, which is important, because that kid’s got a pretty hard life.
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Finally, Farrah and Debra (who had not been invited to visit Derek’s grave) got back together and discussed how much their relationship had improved, which was a really touching moment until Debra asked Farrah to read something and we were reminded that the younger Abraham has no business reading anything aloud. But you gotta admit that seeing Farrah and Debra finally hug it out and mean it was one of the best moments of the show. I think we can all agree that we want to see Farrah heal her relationship with her parents. And it’s still so early in the season that there’s gotta be time for that.
Amber
Last week, Amber discovered that Matt was a yuge Teen Mom fan who had tried to get with Farrah and Jenelle before her. So she canceled their wedding. But it turns out the wedding is back on, because Amber was showing off a huge ring that Matt had allegedly just purchased her. And now Amber and Matt are both angry at Farrah for trying to talk it out in the first place. “She’s a habitual line-stepper,” Matt groused. Really rich coming from a dude who not only tried to get with two other Teen Mom cast members on Twitter but also likely has one of their usernames tattooed on his body in indelible ink.
Let’s be real: Matt is shady AF. If you didn’t think so before, you’ll certainly think it after last night’s episode when he tried to prove what a good guy he was by taking Amber to dinner with family members he hadn’t seen in over a decade. Also, if you didn’t like Matt before, you’ll like him even less now that you know he’s one of those people who has to give fun facts about everything you can see from a car window. No one cares about suspension bridges, Matt! And that includes Amber, who seemed to be incredibly unhappy to be on this trip.
According to Amber, who doesn’t completely buy this “meet the family” vacation even though it was designed to remind her of what a great person she is to love Matt, she’s been having a really hard time ever since news of Matt’s past has come out. Not only is she dealing with the fallout of him allegedly being the father to seven children, but she’s got his exes coming after her and warning her off Matt while also asking her for money. Yeah, she signed up to be on this reality show, but this all seems too much. Raise your hand if you’re beginning to - for the first time in your life - actually side with Gary Shirley when he says that Leah has no business being around Matt.
Amber says she doesn’t like Matt for the past, but for who he is today. But who he is today is still a superfan who somehow found his way onto the show! And when he says that Farrah’s “dead to him,” I’m just a little bit worried. Get that alarm system in your house, girl!
Catelynn
Yo, life, you know what we would all like? To see Catelynn happy. Because Catelynn is the nicest, kindest, most open mom on this show. And yet, the troubles keep coming for her. This week, Teresa (who adopted Catelynn and Tyler’s first child) told Catelynn that she didn’t just want visits with Carly not to be filmed anymore, but that she was not OK with Catelynn and Tyler even talking about her requests on camera. Catelynn was devastated - because she would never do anything to jeopardize the open adoption - but Tyler (who recognizes that Carly’s story is a part of his Teen Mom story) wasn’t as understanding. Instead of supporting Catelynn’s decision to respect Teresa’s wishes, he lashes out talking about how unfair it is that this woman is trying to keep her life (and Tyler’s life, by extension) off the screen. So he’s basically making Teresa’s point for her?
Tyler claims he’s not being selfish, but he totally, totally is. Not only that, but his admonition that Catelynn would do anything if Teresa told her to (up to painting her house a certain color if it meant that Catelynn could see Carly) is incredibly unfair. Catelynn obviously still struggles with the fact that she gave up her first child for adoption and wants to have a relationship with her. That’s normal. And it’s admirable. And it’s really, really hard. So the fact that Tyler has decided to be stubborn about this is especially upsetting because he doesn’t seem to grasp how important being in Carly’s life is to Catelynn. And if it meant not doing the show anymore, I bet that Catelynn would agree to that too. That’s not weakness - it’s recognizing what’s most important.
Here’s hoping that he’ll come around. After all, there are plenty of things to talk about other than Carly and Teresa. Like Butch. Yo, Butch, where you been this season? We’re gonna see more of you, right?
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