25 Weird And Creepy Messages I've Actually Received That Show The Harsh Realities Of Being A Woman On Dating Apps

·3 min read

When I moved to NYC, I decided it was time to hop back on the ol' dating apps and see what the city has to offer. Spoiler alert: It's not going well.

TBS / Via media.giphy.com

Since you may be wondering...here are the photos I use across my Tinder, Hinge, and Bumble profiles!

woman wearing feathers and posing

And, here's the bio I currently have on Tinder. My Hinge and Bumble bios are some variation of the exact same thing. I didn't really customize from app-to-app (except I mention how badly I want a french bulldog on the other profiles).

tinder bio screenshotted

Here are just a few of the most *charming* openers I've received thus far:

Side note: If I answered the message, I have my response included. Unfortunately, for most of these, I didn't have the energy to respond.

1.This guy who wasted no time:

text screenshot where a man messaged good morning, then said "tbh your boobs are bigger than my dream"

Dream bigger, dude.


2.This embarrassing question:

text screenshot reading "if you had a choice of sexcation to Tulum or St. Lucia, which one would you pick?"

It's just so...specific.


3.This guy, whose bio said to "expect a corny pickup line," NOT a horny pickup line:

a guy saying "do you live on a farm? Because you really know how to raise a cock"

Should've seen that one coming, TBH.


4.This overwhelming opener:

text screenshot reading "Hello sunshine are you my princess"

Refreshingly nice, but still a bit much.


5.This question that made me ask, "Whatever happened to hello???":

message reading "choking or hair pulling type or both" with a winky face



6.This innocent question that took a turn:

text screenshot where a man tells a woman she is his comfort food, then says "How are you wild girl?"

I picked the question and answered it first, then saw his answer/opener later. I was just hoping we could bond over carbonara or chocolate chip cookies or something.


7.This question I was never gonna answer:

text screenshot of a message reading "If i can give you one thing from my body, what would you pick?"

Maybe your wallet? Or your watch? Dude, come on.


8.This tongue guy:

text screenshot where a man says "don't know what I'm more impressed by, the pilot's license or that tongue"

...My tongue isn't out in any of my photos?


9.This opener that was not a leg opener:

message reading "i would like to have sex with you"

I guess I appreciate the honesty.


10.This message that literally came in at 10:00 a.m. on a Monday:

message reading "need to be honest you are so fuckable"

Hey bud, did you send me this message while at work?


11.This one wish:

message reading "I hope you have a pretty butt"

I hope so too.


12.This interesting way to flirt that almost worked. TBH:

text screenshot reading "hey dork what's poppin"

I thought it was funny until my friend pointed out that it's actually kind of a weird way to try and get a woman to like you.


13.These compelling words from a 31-year-old man on a Tuesday night:

a message that is just eggplant emojis

When words fail...


14.This direct approach that did not work:

message reading "I wanna fuck you"

IDK, it's just so aggressive.


15.This rather confusing request:

message that says "squat me"



16.This warm invitation:

screenshot of a message that says "get over here hannah"

I'm good.


17.This guy whose dream I made come true:

harassing messages from a rude man
harassing messages from a rude man
harassing messages from a rude man

I probably shouldn't have "provoked" the troll since it seems like he got off on it a bit...ew. I then realized that his seemingly kind and "woke" bio was purely bait. Ugh.


18.This disappointing use of rhyme:

message that says, "bonjour hannah, will this frenchie be able to meet you and eat you before he leaves?"



19.This confusing question:

long message that ends with "which do you prefer? high heels or barefoot"

It started out promising. But then...what? Has ANYONE ever preferred high heels?


20.This wild opener that was sent by a 30-year-old man at noon on a Monday:

long creepy message from a man

He really invited himself over to get high at noon on a Monday.


21.This jaw-dropper

message reading "you have a pretty mouth, want to come over for a drink?"

"Pretty smile" would've maybe made me feel better, but "pretty mouth" was a little...odd?


22.This pressing question:

messaging asking if you take off your socks for sex

Is this how we get to know people now?


23.This scaredy cat who never elaborated:

message from a man saying "you're hot but you look like trouble"

Why do I look like trouble? πŸ˜…


24.This wild, Monday night request:

message saying "Let's get drunk"

Bro, it's 6:00 p.m. I gotta go cook dinner.


25.Finally, this zinger from a man in his 30s...sigh:

man laughing at a dating profile, then asking "you up?"

It hurts.


Anywayyy, my profiles are still up, but I'm mostly on a break from swiping. πŸ€·β€β™€οΈ Some people are really nice and cool on the apps too! Unfortunately, the experience as a whole can just be a bit draining. And, I know plenty of people are receiving even weirder and worse messages than I am! Stay safe out there folks, and if you want to share any of your dating app frustrations, let's chat in the comments!

NBC / Via media.giphy.com