Internet, meet Chloe Burns, a 26-year-old nursing student who recently related to many when she lamented about the annoyances of modern dating — especially when it comes to sex.
In a world of Tinder, Grindr, and Bumble, it's no secret that some people put themselves out there in search of a life partner (or partners) while others prioritize connecting strictly on a physical level. Both are fine as long as everyone is a consenting adult, but dynamics can quickly become strained when everyone isn't on the same page in terms of using protection. Frustrated by experiences like this in her past, Chloe shared the most toxic excuses men have used when she's asked them to wear a condom, including...
..."Aren't you on the pill?"...
Reminder: While contraceptive pills are over 99 percent effective at preventing pregnancy when taken consistently, they do not offer protection against STIs and HIV. Condoms are currently the only birth control method that helps protect against STIs.
..."Seriously? Most girls don't care."...
Reminder: About 99 percent of sexually active women between the ages 15 and 44 have used some form of birth control in their lives, so the above excuse is false.
..."Can you just take Plan B tomorrow?"...
Reminder: While Plan B is generally considered safe for use, its side effects include heavier menstrual bleeding, nausea, vomiting, dizziness, fatigue, headache, and it does not protect against STIs.
Also, many Plan B brands have weight limitations starting at around 165 pounds, meaning they may not work for that person at all.
Reminder: Sexual partners should never try to coerce someone into not using a condom.
..."But I got tested three years ago."...
Reminder: The CDC recommends those who are sexually active get tested at least once a year.
..."I'm allergic to them."...
Reminder: Some people are indeed allergic to latex condoms, but there are plenty of alternative condoms on the market.
..."I'll find someone else then."...
Reminder: Honestly, this is probably best.
..."Let's just do it from behind then."...
Reminder: Unprotected anal sex comes with a high risk of contracting an STI, Planned Parenthood reports.
Over 22.8 million people viewed Chloe's two-part video series on the quotes, and her comment sections are bursting with people who have shared similar experiences. One person was met with resistance in the form of the common "I'm too big" excuse.
If a boy ever tells you he's too big for a condom, please send him this
Another deemed "I promise to pull out in time" as an instant red flag.
According to the Mayo Clinic, sperm can leak into pre-cum, making the pull out method insufficient for preventing pregnancy.
This person came across an ominous "I never have and never will."
And this person was told "I'm infertile." I don't need to keep reminding everyone that STIs exist.
"No, I barely feel anything with one on." This myth has been debunked numerous times, with one doctor telling Teen Vogue, "People who use condoms rate their sexual experiences as just as pleasurable as people who don’t."
Some man asked this person, "Don't you trust me?" This is a form of emotional manipulation, defined by moments when a partner makes you feel pressured or uncomfortable after you've said no.
Another guy tried to "compromise" by saying he'd wear a condom for part of intercourse but not all. (Again. STIs ARE REAL, PEOPLE. And also, "no" means "no.")
This guy seemed to forget how an unplanned pregnancy would "kill the mood" more than using protection.
And finally, this guy claimed he'd "never been asked that before." Which either means he regularly has unprotected sex and there should be a higher level of concern about STIs, or he's a liar. Neither are ok.
When reflecting on her past experiences, as well as those echoed in the comment section, Chloe told BuzzFeed, "What is most concerning to me is not the fact that people are having unprotected sex, it's the lack of education surrounding it. I have come across so many people who think a condom is purely to protect against pregnancy — STDs aren't even a thought."
"I have come across people who think all STDs [have] a quick fix and say they aren't anything serious to worry about," she continued. "It is seriously concerning that people do not want to protect themselves, let alone their partners from such diseases. [And] it is concerning to me that sex has been labelled a taboo topic and things like getting checked for STDs are shamed or frowned upon when it should be more encouraged."
And for those who find themselves in these uncomfortable situations, Chloe offered this advice: "Stand your ground, don't let anyone make you do something you are not comfortable with doing. It can be hard and awkward but it will be harder for you later on if you give in to these types of situations and you end up pregnant, with an STD, or when you realize you gave into a man who obviously does not care about you or respect you — even if he seems like he does at the time."
If you're wondering how to talk to a partner about using a condom, Planned Parenthood created this resource. And any lingering questions you have about STIs may have been answered here.
If you or someone you know has experienced sexual assault, you can call the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 1-800-656-HOPE, which routes the caller to their nearest sexual assault service provider. You can also search for your local center here.